As well as those who would see them. Hawke was the epitome of the rough and tough male. His gaze was brooding, his expression hardened, his body muscular and well formed. He was every woman’s waking fantasy.
He was the man she had dreamed about, ached for, and had finally given up on.
“I stayed away for a reason.”
She’d been out of the underground cell for nearly three months, and this was the first time he had broached the subject. She hadn’t dared mention it. She didn’t want to discuss it, didn’t want to deal with the emotions she knew would rush through her.
“You made the right decision.” Jessica stared back at him, refusing to back down, refusing to let him know how much his defection had hurt her.
Of all the Breeds she had known, he alone should have understood that she would have never betrayed them willingly.
“It was the right decision.” His nod was short, perfunctory. It was an agreement that sliced at her soul.
“So why bring it up?” And why hadn’t she just let the subject drop? Why bring it up when it really didn’t matter anymore?
“We’ve been playing this game since you were released,” he stated, his voice quiet though dark with some hidden emotion that she wasn’t certain she wanted to name.
“And what game would that be? The one where I don’t want to be here? Or the one where you insist I stay? Go, do whatever you do, Hawke, and leave me in peace. And while you’re at it, keep the babysitters at home, if you don’t mind.”
“If you’d had a babysitter today you wouldn’t have nearly been killed.” There was an edge to his voice, an underlying anger that she knew burned inside her as well.
“I survived it.” She shrugged, though the fear at the thought of what had nearly happened couldn’t be shut off as effectively as she would have preferred.
“You survived it?” Male outrage dominated his features now. His eyes glittered with it; his expression was filled with it. “Son of a bitch, Jess, you were nearly killed.”
“Nearly doesn’t count. Would you leave now? I’d like to shower.” She turned away from him, trying to appear nonchalant, uncaring. She very much wanted to live, but she had learned in the past year that the rules to her life had changed. Now if someone would just tell her what the new rules were, then she might have a chance at living.
The amazement slowly left his expression, but what replaced it sent a surge of feminine weakness racing through her system. A look alone shouldn’t have the power to weaken a woman’s knees and send arousal flooding through her system. It shouldn’t be bold enough, hot enough, that she could feel her sex flushing, swelling, instantly growing damp.
And a man shouldn’t have the senses to detect it. She watched as his nostrils flared, his gaze darkening as he recognized the scent of her arousal. It wasn’t fair, because she couldn’t sense his emotions, his arousal.
Her gaze flicked uncontrollably to the crotch of his jeans and she found herself swallowing tightly at the sight of a bulge that hadn’t been there before.
The front of his jeans were full, the proof of his arousal pressing against the material and filling her head with erotic imagery.
She had to force her gaze back to his face, only to see the heavy-lidded, hungry look in eyes that assured her that he knew exactly where she had been looking.
“We’re fighting a losing battle,” he told her, his voice darker, deeper. “It’s going to happen, Jess, and when it does, there will be no turning back. You know that.” Yes, she knew that. She knew well what mating heat was, and what it would do to her, as well as to him. She knew that once it happened, she was tied to him forever.
But wasn’t she already tied to him forever? a little voice questioned her. It wasn’t as though she could get him out of her mind, out of her fantasies. He’d been there before her confinement, and thoughts of him had filled her dreams and her thoughts during the entire time she had been there.
The days and nights that she had longed to see him, ached to lay her head against his chest and feel his arms around her. She’d cried for him. They hadn’t kissed, hadn’t touched, but the time they had spent together had cemented him in her heart.
She didn’t understand why. She didn’t question it. She knew he was there. It was that love-at-first-sight crap, she thought with self-directed fury. That instant attraction, that instant need, which went far beyond the chemical and biological mating heat that the Breeds experienced.
“I want you to leave,” she whispered, though in her heart she knew that wasn’t what she really wanted.
She wanted him to hold her, to touch her, to ease the burning ache that filled her soul.
He stared back at her for long, bleak moments before nodding sharply.
“This time,” he stated with a hint of anger. “This time I will, Jess. Don’t expect it next time.” He turned on his heel and left the room. Seconds later she heard the front door close.
She collapsed on the pretty quilted bedspread covering her bed and breathed out with a long, weary sigh. He wouldn’t promise he would leave the next time. She was living on borrowed time where the mating heat was concerned, and she knew it. The problem was, she had a feeling that after today’s attack, she was living on borrowed time, period.
THREE
It’s escalating.” Hawke stepped into Alpha Gunnar’s office and faced off with not just his own alpha, Wolfe, but his second-in-command, Jacob Arlington, and Haven’s head of security, Aiden Chance.