A Long Way Back (Unfinished Business #2) - Barbara Elsborg Page 0,38
in the back of his mind. Remembering he wasn’t safe, kept him safer.
By the time he got back to the flat, it was almost noon. He dumped his stuff in his room and knocked on Tay’s door.
“Yes?” Tay called.
Ink opened the door and Dog jumped up at him.
“I’ve only just let him out,” Tay mumbled.
“Thank you,” Ink said. “Get plenty done?”
Tay shrugged.
“Cheese sandwich for lunch?”
Another shrug.
Ink sighed and Dog followed him to the kitchen. He wasn’t going to hold his breath that swimming would put Tay in a better mood, but Ink was looking forward to it.
When Tay emerged, the sandwiches were ready. Ink had added a few slices of cucumber to the plates, a handful of crisps and peeled two satsumas, spreading segments like a flower and putting a black grape in the centre. Based on what Tay had asked for yesterday, he’d poured two glasses of water.
Tay dropped down at the table and started to eat.
“Is thank you so hard to say?” Ink asked.
“Thank you.”
“Let’s try that again with a bit more passion. One, two, three—action!”
“Do you want me on my knees?”
“No, because I’d only have to help you up and then you’d have to say thank you again and I’m guessing twice would be too much.”
Tay muttered something that Ink didn’t catch.
“Do you like swimming?” Ink asked. “I suppose the sea’s cold in Northumberland.”
“Yes.”
Oh God. What had happened since last night? Tay’s bad mood at breakfast had continued. “I’ve never swum in the sea.”
“Swimming’s easier in salt water.”
“As long as the sea’s calm.” Keep him talking. “Did you have to wear a wetsuit?”
“There were a few summer days when we could surf without.”
Ink widened his eyes. “You’re a surfer?”
“I surfed with Jonty.”
Ink bit back his irritation that Tay kept mentioning the guy. If he was gone, he was gone.
“You’ll surf again. You could bodyboard instead until you get your legs back.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, but better than nothing, hey?”
“How would you know? Surfing was a huge part of my life. You think I’d be happy bodyboarding while others were surfing? You think that would make me happy?”
Ink didn’t feel he needed to apologise, but he did anyway. “Sorry. Touchy subject and I’ve said too much and now I’m going to say even more. There’s no use always feeling dissatisfied with what you’re able to achieve. Just be grateful for what you can do today. No one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow.”
Tay scowled. “A motivational speech from a homeless guy? Thanks a lot for reminding me of what I can no longer do.”
Oh, fuck off. “My big mouth too much for you? There’s a cure, but since it involves decapitation, or stuffing it with something, maybe you’ll have to learn to cope.”
“Are you grateful for what you can do today? Are you happy to have no home, no proper job?” Tay snapped. “There’s nothing wrong with ambition, trying to be better and better at something.”
“No, there isn’t.” Ink wished he’d kept quiet.
“If everyone settled for just what they could do, the world would never make progress.”
“You’re right.”
“So what’s your ambition? Where do you see yourself when you’re forty?”
Dead, probably. Ink swallowed hard. “I don’t know. But I hope I die thinking that I did the best I could to be a kind and decent person, and that others recognised that. I’d like to think I’ll have done something to make the world a better place, even if that’s just putting a smile on a sad face. I try not to be greedy or selfish, or so focused on myself that I accidentally hurt someone. I want to die having enjoyed the life I had.”
“I didn’t say anything about dying. You’re not thinking you’ll live past forty?”
“I could die this afternoon.”
“Not before we’ve been swimming.”
Ink looked up to see Tay smiling.
“I think you have to be the best person you can be while you have the chance,” Ink said. “I’m not afraid to make mistakes, I just hope that making them teaches me not to make them again. Better to regret having done something than regret never having tried to do it. Though I’m not including sky diving in that list. There’s some stuff I definitely don’t want to do.”
“What else don’t you want to try?”
“Not interested in climbing Everest. Nor in sailing single-handedly across the Atlantic. Don’t want to try base jumping either.”
Tay gave a short laugh. “I’d love to climb Everest. Not sure about sailing the Atlantic but I’d give base jumping a try.”