Loner by Harloe Rae Page 0,88
how is she single? And why am I still watching? I blame my voyeurism on our table being too silent. The murmuring din from other patrons is irritating, like the tag on a shirt. I’m antsy and aggravated, and it’s all his fault. Heat builds behind my eyelids and the dam bursts beyond control.
I slam my untouched sundae onto the table. My spoon clatters against the ceramic edge. For a moment I worry the bowl will crack. “I gave him a hug. Like a real hug. And what did he do? Just toss us away.”
Josey places her hand over mine, which is currently gripping the table with white knuckles. “Okay, Keke. Let’s just take a breath.”
A growl rips up my clogging throat. “I don’t need air or more ice cream or sappy movies. I just want him to give Millie the goodbye she deserves. Then she can move on.” I give my daughter a watery smile.
She tilts her head at me in return. “But he’s coming back, Mama.”
I sniffle while wiping at my leaking eyes. “No, sweetie. He’s not.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“Because he told me. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings more, Mills. So, he just left instead.” Such a selfish, sniveling coward. I should’ve bit him harder when I had the chance.
My daughter looks down at her mostly devoured dessert. “Why would he do that?”
I hiss as the crack in her voice pierces the softest section of my heart. After a rough swallow, I reach for her hand with trembling fingers. “He’s the only one who knows the answer. Maybe he thinks that will protect you.”
“But it’s not. When Ford isn’t around, I’m not as happy. Isn’t he sad without us?”
I nod, forcing a crooked grin. “He’s probably very upset.”
“Then he probably misses us a lot. We should call him.”
“Absolutely not,” I blurt. After a much-needed pause, I exhale a stream of bitter juju. “I mean, he’s probably busy, and we don’t want to bother him. If we stay busy, things will get easier.”
Millie’s posture slumps with a thick sigh. “Okay, Mama. I’ll try to stop missing him.”
And I’m officially the worst mom ever. The fact I gave him a chance in the first place lands heavier than bricks on my shoulders. Regret shackles to my ankles and drags me lower. I blink the moisture from my lashes, giving her palm a squeeze for reassurance. “I’m so sorry, Millie. Please don’t let him steal your smile.”
“It’s not your fault, Mama. Ford hurt your heart, too.”
My little girl is wise beyond her years. “But it shouldn’t have happened to you.”
Josey lets a loud whistle loose. “All right, ladies. Enough of the wallowing. What’s next on the agenda?”
“I dunno. Maybe a nap?” I could sure use one.
She makes the sound of a buzzer. “Wrong answer. How about we go dancing?”
“No.” There’s no hesitation from me.
Her brows leap upward. “Why not?”
“First and most important of all, that’s not a public activity Millie should participate in until she’s at least twenty-five. And second, remember what happened last time?”
Josey smacks her lips together. “You satisfied the wild beast inside of you with crazy animal humping?”
Millie giggles at her inappropriate, albeit accurate, description. “You’re so silly, JoJo.”
She winks. “That’s why you keep me around, right?”
“Uh-huh. And you let me stay up way past my bedtime.”
Josey claps a palm over my daughter’s mouth. A dry laugh scrapes out of her. “She’s totally joking. All that sugar is going straight to her head.”
I scowl at her weak derailing attempts. “It’s fine. Far better than your innuendos.”
“Oh, please. She’s seen it all at the zoo.”
“Yeah, Mama. The gorillas really love each other.” My daughter is vehemently bobbing her head.
A groan vibrates my ribcage. “Not sure why I even bother.”
Josey nudges me. “Darn, you’re worse off than I thought. Her response is freaking hilarious, Keke.”
“She’s seven, Joe. Why must I keep reminding you?” I glower at her.
“Millie is mature for her age.”
“Thanks to you.”
“It’s part of my auntie duty to prepare her for the real world.”
Millie giggles again. “You said doody.”
Josey flings an arm her way. “See? She gets it.”
I glance between, a weak bump of amusement jostling my shoulders. “At least your spirit isn’t tarnished, baby girl. If silly jokes make you happy, go right ahead. We could all use the comedic relief.”
“This is a team effort. We just need to stick by each other, like always. That’s why you moved to Silo Springs. Best decision ever.” My friend lifts her palm for a high-five.
Her gesture