Loner by Harloe Rae Page 0,73
back on. An edgy tremble starts in my fingers. “Growing up, I wished my dad was never around. I was practically raised by a single mom. When my father showed up, everything was tense and distant. I can only hope you never have the displeasure of meeting him.”
“Well, okay then.” Her throat works with a thick gulp. “We all have piles of our own stuff to deal with, huh?”
“No truer words.”
“Are your parents still together?”
I bark out a brittle laugh. “Absolutely not. My mom made sure of that. Her methods were a tad unconventional, and most definitely frowned upon, but she escaped him.”
“Good for her. I don’t know the situation, but your dad sounds awful. Your mom was smart to get out of Dodge.”
“That’s exactly what I tell her, while continuing to rub it in my father’s face. Not my finest moments, but he deserves worse.”
Keegan grins at me. “Thanks for sharing that.”
“To be fair, you started it.”
“Only because you brought it up,” she murmurs.
I skim a finger down the length of her bare arm. A trail of goosebumps rise in the wake of my touch. Millie’s convenient nap allows me to take liberties with Keegan that I wouldn’t allow myself. We’ve been resorting to stolen moments of heated passion when the moon is our only witness. Filthy whispers. Lingering glances. Teasing touches. “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”
She dips her chin, but there’s no missing the flush racing up her neck. “So am I.”
“You’re still holding back.”
“Aren’t you?”
I suppose that’s true, just for different reasons. Keegan is the one with a daughter and larger priorities. The stakes are higher for her, and it isn’t fair for me to wedge my way in if she’s not ready. I give her a slow nod. “I’m not sure what to expect.”
“And that’s fine. I don’t need you to plan for our future or anything. We’ll just see how things go.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I can give you more than that.”
She lifts her chin, a slight tremble wobbling her jaw. “I can’t do this again.”
“Do what?”
“Fall for the wrong man.”
“Who’s to say I’m wrong?”
“Every single sign since we met.”
Moisture collects on her lashes, webbing the long hairs into spears. The last thing I want is to make her cry. “How do I fix this?”
“We don’t start in the first place.”
I rub at the ache searing through my chest. “Anything but that, Kee. Ask anything else of me.”
When she shakes her head, blonde hair fans out into the space between us. “That’s all I can do to protect myself. And Millie. She doesn’t need another reason to feel abandoned.”
I narrow my eyes. “I would never hurt that little girl, accidentally or intentional. You have my word.”
Keegan scoffs. “And how good is that? Until the next worthy conquest comes along?”
“Damn, babe. Cut me deep.” But I can’t blame her. She’s been through more than enough shit when it comes to men. “You’re still holding a grudge over that?”
She peers out the window, trying to avoid me even though it’s impossible. “Maybe.”
“Listen to me, Kee.” I grab her hand and flatten our palms together. “I’m not a relationship guy and never pretended to be. Hell, being around people in general is a challenge. Commitment hasn’t been on my radar. I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a good boyfriend. But what you’ve already given me surpasses any shallow encounter I’ve had by a long shot. If I just wanted sex, I’d go out and get some. I can’t picture anything better than a day trip with you and Millie.”
Keegan glances down at our entwined fingers. “I want to believe you, Ford. But my lack of faith and trust issues, combined with our track record, doesn’t bode well for us.”
Panic should be cramping my stomach. This is too much, way faster than we should be moving. I’m obliterating every line we’ve slapped down. But fuck it—those walls were built to topple. I lean toward her, crossing over the center console. “Let me prove it to you.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’m not the only one you have to worry about.”
“Millie likes having me around.” A backward glance proves the little girl is lost in dreamland.
“She’s seven. Her heart hasn’t learned to protect itself yet. Not that I’m giving you permission to change that.”
“Do you think so little of me?”
Her brief pause that follows shoves my heart into a vice. The clamp adds pressure until taking a breath is painful. Keegan finally shakes her head. “No,