Loner by Harloe Rae Page 0,1
How did I allow this to continue? My daughter has been in this stifling environment for almost a year. Millie’s continued refusal to communicate with Kirk should have been all the proof I needed. She’s never been a chatty child, quite the opposite if I’m being honest, but total silence from her isn’t the norm. It probably didn’t help matters that he never attempted to form a relationship with her, even in the most basic sense. That just goes to show how blind I’ve been.
How could I get involved with a man so callous and selfish? Does loyalty mean nothing? I know the answer. To a man like Kirk, the value is less than zero. He didn’t even have the decency to look guilty when I caught him balls deep in that busty redhead. Turns out he’s been cheating on me with her for months. Such an arrogant asshole.
At this moment, albeit far too late, there’s a glaring fact I can no longer deny: all of this is my fault. Kirk offered a flimsy sense of security and financial comfort I couldn’t afford otherwise. I wanted to believe so badly that he could be the one. Memories of my parents, forever meant to be together, kept the faith of true love alive. Reality is a much larger pill to choke down when all evidence pointed to the contrary.
Being on my own since eighteen had me growing up faster than most. I wasn’t granted the luxury of a cushy introduction to adulthood with opportunities at every turn. The road has been far from smooth. Since Millie was born, I’ve tried my damndest to create a better life for us. I’m ashamed of myself and the weakness I’ve shown.
But that all changes today.
“Mama?” The soft voice is laced with hesitancy.
I immediately pause my mechanical efforts and glance behind me. My daughter stands in the doorway, her lips tugging low into a deep frown. The shirts in my grip drop to the floor as I turn toward her. I kneel and beckon her into my open arms. “Come here, baby girl.”
Millie’s stride toward me is slow and cautious, her hesitancy a knife to my heart. Once she folds against my chest, I rub her back in soothing circles, humming a quiet tune she enjoys at bedtime.
This innocent girl has already seen too much hardship in her six short years. I should’ve done better by her from the beginning. I clearly needed a wake-up call in the form of him seeking pleasure between another woman’s thighs. Maybe I should be thanking Kirk for his infidelity.
After a few moments, Millie lifts her head and blinks at me. “Are we leaving?”
“Yes, sweetie.”
“Why?”
“We need to find our own place.”
Long lashes fan her cheeks. “Okay.”
“Would you rather stay?” I swallow the ball of fire in my throat.
“No.” One word has never held so much unwavering certainty.
I put a finger under Millie’s chin, lifting until she’s looking at me. “This was never a true home for us, huh?”
“Not really.” Her voice is barely a whisper.
A breezy chill creeps along my spine, and I try not to shiver. This apartment has always been cold. And unwelcoming. “I’m very sorry, Millie.”
She bobs a slim shoulder, offering me a jerky shrug. “It’s fine.”
Another fissure splits me apart. “It’s really not, but I’m gonna make it up to you.”
“How?”
I tighten my arms around her tiny form, wrapping us in a warm embrace. “Hugging is a good start.”
“It heals the hurt,” she murmurs against my chest.
I kiss the top of her forehead. “Exactly, baby girl. We stick together and all else will follow.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re moving to an adorable small town where everyone is super nice. It’s called Silo Springs. Isn’t that a fun name?”
“Uh-huh. I like it.”
“So do I. My friend lives there and will help us settle in. They have great schools, too. You’ll meet a bunch of kids in class this fall. We’ll start fresh. Does that sound good?”
“Yes, Mama. Can we go right away?”
“Sure can, sweetie.”
“Can Bearly come with?”
The mention of her beloved stuffed animal makes me grin. “Of course. He’s part of the family.”
“And we protect our family.” The amount of conviction she puts behind her words makes my pride swell three sizes.
I squeeze her a bit closer. “That’s right, baby girl. I love you so much.”
“Too much, Mama,” she wheezes extra loud, adding a wiggle for show.
With a groan, I release her from my hold. “Never grow up, okay?”
“Why do you always say that?”
“Because I mean it.