“Happy Birthday” to me on my birthday I want to run away. But then I wouldn’t get cake.
Are you a dyke? See #1.
Are you a cunt or bitch? I am a tad bit snarky, sardonic, silly, and immature. That’s about as extreme as I get.
Did you fuck your way up the ladder? Hahaha. No. I am very much a bottom-rung plebeian. And please see #1 again.
Are you stupid? I was a National Merit semifinalist in high school, an eighth-grade regional algebra competition finalist, and I was placed in advanced calculus in college thanks to my AP score. I really suck at geometry and chemistry though. If you want to call me stupid at geometry and chemistry, that’s fine. I’d totally agree with you there.
RockJock33, one of your haters, asked, “Shouldn’t you go kill yourself?” What do you think about that? I get squeamish when I see blood, so no thanks to the death suggestion. Plus, I like my life.
Are you a social justice warrior/feminazi? I prefer to think of myself as an “Equality Evangelist.”
You’re fat and disgusting, right? I went to the doctor this morning and had to pay a $35 co-pay to help me answer this question. My BMI is 23. According to my physician, my BMI is average for my weight and height. I am disgusting when eating nachos because I always ask for extra cheese and it drips everywhere. I’m a disgusting nacho slob.
Then you’re ugly, right? I ran my picture through the Hot or Not app. I scored a 71% hot. While I’m not a bombshell, actual data exists that suggests I am not ugly.
Let’s talk race. Are you a straight-A genius, a kung-fu master, a bad driver, a dragon lady, and good with computers? Oh, and do you speak Chinese? No.
Are you a chink, gook, or jap? Slurs are stupid. It would be like me calling white people “honkies” and “crackers.” That sounds stupid, right? People don’t use those terms anymore, for good reason. And my ethnicity is Korean, not Chinese or Japanese, for the record, so at least consider using correct racial references when referring to my heritage. But note I’m American, just like many of your readers. I was born here, and I’ve paid one-third of my hard-earned wages since I was sixteen years old to the US government.
Would you like to be ravaged by a stranger wielding a Wiffle-ball-bat-size dick? No, thank you. I’m very selective of whom I ravage and am ravaged by. See answer to question #1. Also, I do not believe anyone’s dick is two and a half feet long. I’d want picture proof with a yardstick of that.
Boobs! Boobs! What’s your bra size? 34B. I’m a size M in Adidas sports bras. You can buy a three-pack at Costco for $14.99.
A question, one from us, not from those jerks who’ve been harassing you. What was the inspiration behind Ultimate Apocalypse? This game’s purpose is pure entertainment. It started off as a parody idea of all the over-the-top male power fantasy, shoot-’em-up games that have female secondary characters just to objectify and sexualize them. The Ultimate Apocalypse follows three male strippers who emerge from a run-down strip club without their memories, unharmed after an apocalyptic world war. At the same time, Doomsday government scientists unleash creatures on the earth, because they think it’s their calling: aliens, zombies, vampires, you name it. And these strippers need to fight them to survive. They meet badass warriors along their journey, the majority of whom are female. To win the game, the men need to join forces with the women, otherwise they won’t survive, because the women have complementary skills that they need.
Who’s your favorite character? Hands down, it’s Sophia. We gave her a normal, relatable name. She’s sporty and can throw knives and axes. This kick-ass character is my favorite because we made her just like my real-life gaming heroine, Kat. But in real life, Kat is pretty clumsy, and if she tried to throw a knife it would boomerang and stab her jugular vein. Sophia is basically Kat 2.0.
Is there anything else you’d like to say to our readers? Or to the army of vile trolls who want to see you fail? Thank you so much for this platform. The breadth of harassing comments makes it hard to address it all. But I do want to talk about the sexualizing and objectifying comments made about me online.
At the start of the online controversy, the fact that I was Asian, female, and