It was just over. There were no more chances to capture his heart.
She had failed. The most important dream she had ever had, and she had failed.
His hands settled on her shoulders, his hold implacable as he turned her until he could pull her against his chest.
“I should have never touched you, Tey,” he whispered as his lips brushed against her hair. “You’re too important to me to lose you this way.”
Her teeth clenched. She was going to lose it. Tears thickened her throat, pooled in her eyes. The agony racing through her was tearing her apart second by second until her heart felt like a ragged wound in her chest. She wanted to scream, to cry, to beg, and she thanked God her pride held her back.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” she informed him, amazed that she could speak, that she could breathe through the pain. “Just go away, Jordan. I’ll have it all together in the morning and we’ll forget it ever happened.”
She would never forget it. She had thought that if she could force him to admit he wanted her, she would have a chance at his heart. She had never imagined it would become one night only. What a childishly romantic thought. She of all people should know better than to believe in fairy tales.
“Tehya.” The grimace that tightened his face broke her heart.
That expression said it all. The tightening of his lips, the chill in his eyes. Dealing with her emotions, dealing with the fact that she had expected more, was a duty he’d rather be well rid of, no matter what he said.
She should have been thankful he had allowed her on the team. She, the daughter of the enemy who had murdered his friend, who had been instrumental in nearly destroying his nephew. She might have killed Sorrel, but she still had his blood. She was still his daughter. And she should have known Jordan would have never been able to love someone so closely related to such an enemy.
“We’ll talk in the morning.” Her voice was thicker. She was so close to crying it was humiliating. In that moment she hated the emotions that raged through her. She wished she could be hard, cold, that she could feel only that twinge of regret that she didn’t have the emotional capacity to care for anyone outside friendship as he did.
She watched as his head turned, his jaw tightened. Then he gave a brief, hard nod before striding to the door.
“We will discuss this in the morning,” he informed her, then opened the door and left the suite.
And then the tears fell.
The sob that tore from her shocked her. She’d been certain she could hold it in. Her knees weakened to the point that she nearly fell to the floor as her hands pressed tight and hard into the clenching muscles of her stomach.
The emotional pain hurt worse than a bullet.
She could feel the ragged, gaping hole in her chest where her heart had once been, and the agony of it was a horrible realization. She felt as though she were dying inside. As though a part of her soul were being ripped away from her.
She hadn’t thought it would hurt this bad.
She hadn’t imagined it would be this hard to face.
Returning to the bedroom, she quickly dressed in jeans, T-shirt, boots. A leather jacket was thrown over the duffel bag she had packed in the closet. A smaller backpack sat next to it.
The moving team had the address and instructions for handling her belongings. They would be stored for the time being, because she had no place to go.
All she knew was that there was no way she could face Jordan when morning came. That the ragged pain in her chest would only turn to anger, and she didn’t want the love to turn to hatred.
There was nothing left to do but to leave before she was forced to face him again. Before she could push him again, before she could plead with him to love her, beg him to tell her why he didn’t.
Before she broke down completely and a lifetime of pain and grief overwhelmed her.
How silly of her to believe he could love her when no one else ever had.
* * *
Jordan knew Tehya was gone the second he entered her suite. There was such a sense of emptiness, of abandonment, that it was unmistakable. The effect it had on him was undeniable.