This breakup should have cost him way more than a thousand. When David and I broke up, he gave me ten.”
“Ten thousand?”
“You think that’s a lot for them? It’s nothing. That’s a poker weekend.” Izzy sighed and shook her head. “You know I don’t do the married guy thing, but if you’re going to go that route, you might as well capitalize. Professional girlfriend rates go up if the guy has a wife. They have more to lose.”
It was the first time Kenzie had heard the term professional girlfriend.
“Like I said, it’s a negotiation.” Izzy leaned forward. “You have to ask for what you’re worth.”
“How the hell do I do that?”
“There’s an art to it.” Her roommate paused for a moment, thinking it through. “You have to ask … without actually asking. You make it so that they offer.”
It was a lot to ponder.
“In any case, it’s too late for you with Sean.” Izzy leaned back again. “But keep it in mind for next time. You have more power than you think. Just don’t you dare fall for him.”
As they continued to live together, Izzy taught Kenzie a lot about being a “professional girlfriend.” They weren’t prostitutes, she insisted. They had to genuinely like the men, and the relationships were always exclusive; Izzy never dated more than one man at a time. While they were together, she only had eyes for him, and she doted on him the way a good girlfriend would. In the bedroom, she went above and beyond to please her man, but she expected the same in return. It wasn’t all about him.
But her boyfriends had to be able to afford her. She was high-maintenance, and required cash to get her nails done every week, her eyelashes done every other week, her hair done every month, and custom spray tans on an as-needed basis. She loved to travel, but first class or business class only. She expected gifts, and she preferred the ones that came in little blue boxes with white bows. In return, her boyfriend would receive a devoted girlfriend and travel companion who would lavish attention on him, and who would always ensure they had a good time.
But Izzy didn’t want to stay in the girlfriend category forever. She wanted the ring, she wanted the wedding, she wanted the house, she wanted the name. She wanted financial security.
“I avoid trust-fund babies like the plague,” she once told Kenzie. “First, they’re terrible in bed. Second, if they were born with money, then they’ve always had a safety net, so they’ve never worked for anything a day in their lives. Plus, they always want kids.” She shuddered. “A self-made, divorced, rich man is the holy grail. They work hard, they’ve likely done the kid thing already, and now they want to have fun and spoil someone. That’s where I come in.”
Then Izzy met Mike. Mike wasn’t divorced. Mike wasn’t rich. Mike was only three years older, and they’d met at the gym. It had just ended with Rick, and she was feeling restless, so she agreed to a coffee date because Mike was “cute.” Coffee turned to drinks, which turned into dinner, which turned into Izzy not coming home until late the following day.
“Well, I’m fucked,” she said, plopping down on the sofa.
“Literally or figuratively?” Kenzie asked.
“Both. He works in IT and drives a six-year-old Toyota Camry. A Camry, Kenz. And this morning, he took me to IHOP for breakfast. IHOP. And you know what?”
“What?”
“The sex was incredible, and the pancakes were good. What is happening to me?”
Kenzie had to laugh. It was hard to picture Izzy in a chain restaurant holding a giant laminated menu. “So then … fun for a night, right?”
“Right.” Her roommate spoke a little too decisively, and Kenzie didn’t know if Izzy was trying to convince her, or herself. “But, oh god, he made me laugh. I forgot how good it is to be with someone who makes me laugh. For the last twenty-four hours, it felt like I could be myself around him. It didn’t matter if my makeup stayed perfect or my hair got limp from the drizzle. I even offered to pay for breakfast since he got dinner and drinks last night. When’s the last time I did that?”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I don’t know.” Izzy seemed genuinely confused. “I wish he wasn’t so … adorable.”
Six months later, she was still seeing Mike, and after a brief affair with a restaurant owner named Erik, Kenzie had