this time. Mentally cursing, she heads to the bathroom to shower, stripping her clothes off as she goes.
She has no illusions about how she looks. She’s tall and thin and blessed with great muscle tone and fabulous legs. Her face, however, is just okay. She looks pretty when she puts makeup on, but other than mascara and a bit of gloss, she mostly can’t be bothered. At least now that she’s in her twenties, her skin has finally cleared up.
Her biggest asset is that she’s exotic. Hawaiian father, French Canadian mother … men have always liked her. She’s not so beautiful that she intimidates them, but she’s attractive enough that she’s worth pursuing. She understands what she has. She figured it out a long time ago, with J.R., when she was seventeen. And then with Sean, when she was nineteen. Then came Erik. And then Paul, the one whose wife threatened to kill her. And now Derek.
They all start the same way, with what she calls “the spark.” The spark is the thing that puts her on their radar. If they hadn’t yet considered her as an option, then they will after the spark. Sometimes it’s a flirtatious comment—friendly, but full of innuendo—and sometimes it’s a lingering look. If the married man isn’t open to anything more, then nothing will happen, and the spark dies. No harm done. If he is open to something more, then it must be he who takes the next step.
The seduction can go on for weeks, with a slow build, as the married man fights his urges, only to lose the battle in the end (and they always do). It’s important they believe they’re the ones seducing her; it makes them feel powerful to know they can, that they’ve still got it, whatever “it” is. The first time they have sex has to be spectacular, and that only happens if the build-up is there. The chase is everything.
Once they get addicted to her, and to the high of being with her, she can start using the relationship to her advantage. It’s not as if she doesn’t like the men she dates—she’s genuinely attracted to all of them. She’s not a prostitute, for fuck’s sake. Professional girlfriend, maybe. And, like any relationship, you don’t want it to get boring.
This is where she is now with Derek. It’s been six months, her longest relationship yet, and she senses it’s starting to get stale. He’s becoming apathetic, and she’s not sure what to do about it. When they first met, he came alive around her. Now he’s retreating into the deep well of sadness she’s guessing he lives in when he’s around Marin, and it’s different than anything she’s ever dealt with before. Which means his time with Kenzie is less exciting, less worth it, and will morph into a complication he’ll soon decide he no longer wants.
She rinses the complimentary hotel conditioner out of her hair and moves all the little bottles to the ledge so she’ll remember to bring them home. It’s nicer stuff than what she can afford to buy, unless someone else is doing the buying.
When she’s out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, Derek’s awake and packing up his computer. The clothes she discarded on the floor have been folded and placed neatly on top of her overnight bag. It both annoys and amuses her that he feels the need to pick up after her.
“Feels like we just got here,” she says, attempting conversation. They’ve barely spoken since he picked her up yesterday.
He doesn’t look at her. “Done with the shower?”
He moves past her, and she hears the water running. She uses the hotel blow dryer and does her hair in front of the desk mirror, noting that the pink is fading once again and she’ll have to decide whether to recolor it. The box of hair dye she uses costs eight bucks a pop; it’s a luxury she can’t always afford after tuition, rent, food, cat care, utilities, and art supplies. With student loans and her hours at the Green Bean, it might have almost been manageable … but her mom’s assisted living facility costs almost three thousand a month, and the payout she received from Paul last year has nearly run out.
It’s why she needs to be really careful with Derek. She can’t afford to lose him. Timing is everything.
She uses her round brush to make loose waves; she doesn’t want another crack from Derek about her wet hair. Things have