A Little Bit Dirty - Jenika Snow Page 0,28

He might have been a selfish bastard back in the day concerning the drugs and using, but before that he just wanted to be friends. There was so much he wanted to say to her, to confess and try to work through it, but he bit his tongue and glanced up at her once more. “I haven’t talked to him in a few months since he started med school.” He watched her throat work as she swallowed, and he knew there were a lot of things she wanted to say, too.

But she didn’t say anything, and just like him played it off as though there was nothing between them.

“We don’t talk much either, but I know he’s been really busy with rotation at the hospital and all that.” She was twisting her hands in her lap.

“You’re nervous.” He didn’t know why he said that because surely that wouldn’t help the situation.

“I am.” They held each other’s stares for several seconds, and he saw this expression filter across her face. Before he knew what she was doing she stood and walked over to where he was sitting on the bed. The scent of her filled his nose, and he held in his groan.

“Have you been working out?” she asked as she looked at his biceps.

“Yeah, after…” He glanced out the window at the large blue spruces and evergreens that lined the property. He didn’t want to tell her about that part of his life, not yet at least. When he looked back at her it was to see her gaze locked on his. Her eyes were this light green color, unique and so damn gorgeous. “For the last couple of years the whole band has been working out.” He shrugged, knowing that the guys thought working out would be a good way to help burn off the need that he had for his addiction, and keep his mind focused on what was really important.

But what no one else knew was that a reason why he had cleaned up his shit was because of Zoe. He thought about her, wished things could be different, but life was what it was, and there was no going back.

“Do you want to talk about anything in particular?” There was a note in her voice that told him she knew he had a lot on his mind, but he couldn’t talk about that shit right now.

“No, Zoe.” He inhaled deeply and glanced out the window again. For several seconds neither said anything, but then he felt the lightest of touches on his arm. When he looked down it was to see Zoe resting her hand on his forearm.

“Luke.” She whispered his real name, and his heart started pounding hard in his chest.

Keeping his expression neutral, he looked at her again, saw the longing in her face, and knew what she was going to do. She had never looked so vulnerable before, and although he knew he should stop her as she leaned in closer, he couldn’t do it. And then she was pressing her mouth to his, and the flavor of her burst throughout his whole body. His cock hardened instantly, but this wasn’t how things should be going.

He pushed away from her right as she slipped her tongue along his bottom lip. He hadn’t been able to stop the low sound that came from him. He stood, started pacing and running his hands through his hair, and figured out how in the fuck to get his dick to go down.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” She sounded frantic.

He looked over his shoulder and saw how red her face was. God, he didn’t want her thinking that he disliked it, not one fucking bit. “Zoe, please…”

She looked up at him and he thought she was going to cry, and that tore his damn heart out.

“I’ve been friends with you and Lane my whole life, and even though I want—”

She shook her head and stood, cutting him off when he was going to tell her that he did care for her, but that he was afraid things would be ruined between everyone.

“No, please don’t say anything.” Her voice shook, and he took a step closer, wanting to comfort her. She held up her hands to stop him. “I shouldn’t have done that. I overstepped bounds. Sorry.” And then she turned and left his room, and Beats stood there feeling like the biggest asshole that ever lived.

He should have gone to her, but instead he sat back on the