A Little Bit Dirty - Jenika Snow Page 0,11

talking about her, and how he had noticed her for a long time.

She was silent for a second and then glanced at where Zoe and Beats were sitting. “And you weren’t?”

“What?” He had a feeling he knew what she was referring to, but he played it off cool and calm, and let her be the one that brought it out in the open.

She turned and fully faced him. “Getting your dick wet, partying, and the music.” Tanner did a pretty good job of keeping her voice neutral, but he heard the slight tremble in it.

He shrugged, not sure how to answer, because although it seemed like an easy enough question it really wasn’t. How the guys acted had been no secret back when they had been hanging out, but Jacks had never flaunted it like Matty, Beats, or Five did, and it was because he had carried this torch for a girl who, up until he had been with her sexually, hadn’t acted like she wanted more with him. But Jacks was just as much to blame for the distance that had kept them apart. Well, look at how that had fucking gone.

“Yeah, you were so into that shit.” She was laughing at him.

He chuckled, but it was a bit strained. “I mean, I was a punk ass teenage guy, but I never brought those high school skanks to watch us play, and certainly never brought them home with me after gigs.”

She stared at him for a second and finally shook her head. “No, I suppose you didn’t do any of the stuff the other guys did.” She glanced down, and he saw her cheeks turn pink.

He still had an effect on her. Good.

“But you still had your fair share of girls hanging off of you at school.” She smiled and then laughed, but it sounded forced.

“Of course I was into puss…” He cleared his throat. “I was into chicks, the drinking, and of course making music.” But I was more interested in you.

“So you knew the whole time she wanted Beats?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I mean I assumed since I never actually asked her. I saw the way she watched him play though, and those little giggles she made every time he said a joke.” He grinned. “We all know Beats’ jokes are pathetic as fuck.”

She started laughing and nodded. “Yeah, they were pretty bad.”

Jacks couldn’t help but feel his dick twitch at the sound of her laughter. “But the other guys were oblivious, that much was clear.”

“Good. I’d hate for Zoe to have her feelings known like that when clearly she didn’t want them out there.” She was watching Zoe and Beats again. “I feel bad though, because I know he only saw her as a friend. She was—is—head over heels in love with him still.”

“It’s probably better this way. I mean I don’t think Beats could have given her what she needed. Not then and really not now.” Jacks wasn’t going to talk about all the girls that thrust themselves at the band on a nightly basis. At first it had been exciting, but now it was so common that Jacks didn’t even blink when a set of big fake tits were thrust in his face.

He watched Tanner’s profile as she looked around the room again and drank her beer. She had a stray piece of dark hair that brushed along her cheek, and he had to curl his fingers into his palm to stop himself from reaching out and brushing it away. He wanted to talk to her, to ask her why she had left the way she did, why she hadn’t reached out to him all these years, and tell her that he had also held a torch for her this whole time. But then she’d probably fire back her own string of questions.

“If you love me so much, loved me all this time, why have you been linked countless times to those Hollywood women?”

“Why didn’t you call me if you felt this strongly?”

“Why did you never tell me how you felt?”

All of those questions, and more, would come from her, because he didn’t think if he spilled his guts like that that Tanner would just shrug and be on her way. But what he feared the most was if he did tell her that he cared for her, that she would laugh at him, and tell him that what they had done five years ago was only about sex. They were friends, nothing more. He