Listen To Me - Kristen Proby Page 0,74

me. So what? I mean, life goes on.

But last night, when he began playing “Sad,” one of my favorite Maroon 5 songs, I just couldn’t do it. I turned around, waved at Kat, and walked right out the back.

It’s bad enough that I’ve stayed away for the hour or two before he shows up to play so I don’t run into him before he takes the stage. Just the sound of his voice made me panic.

I have Jake PTSD.

“You’re not going to do that tonight,” I say to my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I check my lip gloss and smooth my hands down my high-waisted pencil skirt. “Jake brings in a lot of money every weekend. Like it or not, it’s best having him here for business.” I point at myself and narrow my eyes. “You’re a grown woman. You’re a professional. So pull up your big-girl panties and deal with it.”

“Is that working?” Riley asks as she comes out of the stall behind me.

“I think so.”

She smirks and washes her hands. “You don’t have to be here, Addie. The rest of us can handle it here.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Addie—”

“This is my place too,” I interrupt her with a shake of my head. “I made the bad mistake of falling for an employee, and now I’m paying the consequences. Lesson learned.”

“If you need anything, all four of us are here.”

“I know.” I hug Riley tight. “Thank you.” The fact that my friends have come in when they don’t have to, just because they know that being faced with Jake is hard on me, makes me more grateful than I can say.

“He asked me to give this to you.” She pulls a small white envelope out of her pocket.

“You can rip it up and throw it away.”

“Come on, Addie. Just read it.”

I roll my eyes and take the note.

Addie—

I miss you. Just talk to me.

—Jake

We can hear applause from the dining room. “He’s on,” Riley says. “It’s safe for you to go out there now.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” I sniff and put my nose in the air as I fold the note and shove it in my bra, then walk out of the bathroom, purposefully not looking in Jake’s direction, and begin to make my rounds through the dining room, asking diners if they’re happy with their dinners, and if anyone needs anything else.

I may be avoiding looking at him, but there is no way to avoid hearing him. God, I love his voice. He’s singing a Gavin Degraw song, and his voice washes over me. It’s the most amazing and the most hurtful thing, all at the same time.

But I force a smile as someone asks for another glass of wine and I try to block out that the love of my life is currently on my stage. He won’t take me home tonight and touch me or make love to me. Or simply smile at me or make me laugh.

There is nothing there, yet I can hear him, and it’s my own private hell.

“You okay?” Cami asks as she passes by me on the way to the bar.

“Yes. Can you please get another glass of house white for table fourteen?”

“On it.” She nods and bustles away, as if she waitresses every night. I turn at the sound of my name and smile when I see Christina and Kevin sitting at a table in the heart of the dining room.

“Hi, guys. How are you?”

“We’re fine,” Christina replies, her eyes shrewd as she watches me. “How are you?”

“I’m great.” Fake it till you make it, girl. I smile brightly. “Can I get you anything?”

“We’re great,” Kevin replies kindly. “It’s good to see you, Addie.”

“You too.” I smile again. “I need to check on an order from the bar.” I need to get away from them. It’s too soon to see people that I’d come to really care about who I don’t get to keep in my life. Just as I reach the back of the room, Jake begins to talk.

“This next song is for someone special.” That’s all he says before he begins to sing a cover of “Thinking Out Loud.”

Darling I will be loving you till we’re seventy.

I can’t do this.

My heart literally aches as it beats out of control. I march straight back to the bar, where Kat and Cami are filling drink orders.

“I can’t.”

“Addie—” Cami’s eyes are worried.

“No. I can’t do this. I thought I was strong enough, but I’m not. This is his last