on Facebook and tell you I just had hot sex with the new guy at work. Especially since that first time I was convinced it was a huge mistake and was never going to happen again.”
Becca made a face. “Okay, I get that. But obviously it turned into more than one time.”
“Yeah. Somehow we’re…dating. Or something.” She pushed her glasses up on her nose.
“You seem upset. Did you two just have a fight?”
Sloane swallowed. “There wasn’t much fighting. He said he’s done, and walked out.”
“Oh no.” Becca’s eyes scrunched up at the corners. “What was he so mad about?”
“Apparently he’s upset because I didn’t tell him about Mom being found.”
“I don’t get it, Sloane. You told him about Mom disappearing, which you hardly ever do, with anyone, and yet you didn’t tell him that she’d been found? Or that you were going home to Oakville this weekend?”
“I didn’t think it was something he needed to know.”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“No. You don’t get to do that. You always do that.”
Sloane felt a defensive burn inside her. “I always do what?”
“You don’t talk about your feelings.”
“My feelings are my own business.”
“I know, but I’m your sister. You can tell me how you’re feeling.”
Sloane gave Becca a sad smile. “I’ve always tried to protect you from that.”
Becca’s eyes widened. “Oh my God. Really?” She set her hand on her chest. “You always seemed so strong. No matter what happened, you were there for us. But inside you were hurting. Weren’t you?”
Sloane grimaced. “Sure. We all were.”
“Christ, Sloane! I love you. But you don’t have to protect me anymore. I want to know what’s going on with you. For real. This whole thing with Mom…how you’re feeling about it. We need to talk about it, or we’re never going to get past it.”
Sloane nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“And Levi. You need to talk to him. I think you hurt him by not telling him what was going on.”
Sloane blinked at Becca with a sinking feeling that she was right. “It’s not like that between us. We’re just…you know. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Becca carried the coffeepot over and refilled both their mugs. “But he’s probably not thinking that right now.”
“I know.” Sloane rested her head on a hand. “But it’s too late to talk to him.”
“It’s never too late. You obviously care about him.”
I thought we cared about each other.
“I do,” she admitted. Why could she admit this to her sister and not to him?
“When you care about people, you share yourself with them,” Becca said softly. “All of you, including your feelings, even if they’re bad feelings.” She paused. “Were you upset about Mom?”
Sloane remembered coming home that night she’d found out, remembered the bitter rage that had filled her. She was a little ashamed of how violently she’d reacted. That wasn’t her. She was in control and collected. Always.
Well, not always. Levi liked to take control away from her and…ruffle her. Make her let go and come apart. And she loved it.
“Yeah, I was upset.” Her stomach pitched and her head still hurt despite the painkillers. “I think I might be coming down with something. Maybe I shouldn’t go see Dad and Viv with you.”
Becca narrowed her eyes. “You’re hungover. We’re not going to catch a hangover from you.”
It felt way worse than a hangover. More like the flu, with full body aches. Even her skin hurt. “Fine,” she said wearily. “I’ll come.”
When Eric arrived, she climbed into the back seat of his car and let Becca sit up front. Once they were driving, Eric said, “So do we know for sure it’s Mom?”
“The police had a picture.” Sloane rested her head against the side of the car. “It’s her. She looks terrible, though. Although it was a mug shot. Christ on a crutch.”
“I can’t believe this,” Becca said. “I hardly even remember her.” Her voice went sad.
Becca and Eric talked for a while and Sloane closed her eyes and tried not to see Levi’s face as he’d stared at her. Eventually she fell asleep.
She woke up when they arrived at Dad and Viv’s place and stretched her aching body. She felt disoriented and confused. She’d been dreaming about Levi, dreaming that she was chasing him and couldn’t catch him. Her limbs felt heavy and stiff as she walked into the house.
She watched Eric and Becca exchange slightly awkward hugs with Dad and Viv. Then she hugged them, and this time it felt more comfortable.