Lilac - B.B. Reid Page 0,94

me with bitterness and insecurity until I slowly came to my senses.

I could never have all three of them. I didn’t factor in Loren’s volatility, Houston’s mistrust, and the secrets Rich was apparently keeping. Feeling the wonderful ache between my legs, I conceded that the day hadn’t been all bad. It had been great until Loren ruined it by being a brat.

I was even willing to shoulder some of the blame.

Seducing them was the easy part. What happens in the unlikely event that sex is no longer enough? What if I fell for one of them or worse…all of them? What. Happens. Then?

The only thing messier than sex was feelings.

Do I ask three men used to playing dirty to share me? How would I convince them? How would I convince myself? I’m not sure many women would jump at the chance.

In theory, my body reacted in favor of it.

Reality, however, was a judgmental bitch.

I tried putting myself in Rich’s shoes after hearing that I wasn’t complete with only him. He’d try just to please me until it shattered him completely. Loren gave me the strong suspicion that he’d been an only child. He’s never had to share before. Why should he start now?

And then there was Houston.

Morrow suffered a complex that told him he must control what he could possess and eclipse anything he couldn’t. Hoping he’d claim me while allowing his friends to stake their piece was a fool’s dream.

Making the sensible choice wasn’t something I was used to.

I gave up my innocence, knowing what it meant for my soul. I left home accepting that I may never fit in. I joined Bound, knowing that my bandmates hated me. I’ve filled my existence with challenges. They gave me purpose, a reason to keep fighting until the bloody end, and a distraction from the knowledge that nothing was waiting on the other side. I could live now and forget it all later.

Once again, defiance was staring me in the eye, waiting for me to pick up the gauntlet. I learned Bound’s music. I earned their respect and monopolized their desires.

But I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t do what Oni had hoped when she chose me. All I’d end up doing was piling my broken pieces on top of theirs. Pain was all I had to offer Bound. That and my guitar.

“You won,” Braxton said to me the moment we were back on the bus.

Loren, Rich, and I crowded the door because she hadn’t allowed us a step further. She stood there with her head high and shoulders back, but it was the coldness in her eyes that bothered me. Braxton looked at us as if I’d never been inside her, as if she’d never felt Loren’s touch, and her clothes weren’t torn from fucking Rich mere hours ago.

She even bore all of our marks.

Staring at the spot where mine was starting to fade, I forced myself to stay put. No question she wouldn’t welcome my mouth on her right now.

“What are you talking about?” Loren demanded. He shoved past me to get closer to Brax as if he could stop her from saying or doing whatever came next.

“From this point forward, I’d like to keep it about the music.”

Loren stilled while Rich shifted next to me. My reaction was also nonverbal. I let my suspicion show as I regarded Braxton. I never took her for a schemer. It had to be a ploy to get us under heel because the only alternative was that she was completely fucking serious.

“When has it not been about the music?” Loren pushed through gritted teeth. Brows dipped and nostrils flaring, his breathing turned heavy from the exertion not to grab Brax and shake her until she was pliant. He’d calmed down on the drive home and even looked like he wanted to take it all back. He didn’t count on Braxton deciding for everyone that it was too late.

I toyed with the possibility that she meant every word. What I didn’t expect was for it to piss me off more.

“Since I let myself cross too many lines with you,” Braxton said with too much passion to be faked. Her gaze slowly met each of ours. “All of you.”

Fuck.

She was serious.

“You don’t want to accept me,” she continued. “It was wrong to think I could make you. I’m temporary. It should never have mattered.”

Braxton turned to me, and I read the confusion in her expression when I didn’t immediately agree. Victory had always tasted sweet. At

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