the heat and the pressure, and do all the arguing and much of the preparation. He didn't dare ask her if she was up to doing the case, he knew that she would have taken the question as an insult.
“Are you going home?” He hoped for her sake that she was. He still had work to do for her, for the trial, but he could see a pile of files on her desk too and that didn't bode well for an early evening.
“I've still got a few things to do, for other clients.” She had managed to return all her phone calls late that afternoon, but she hadn't had time to call Peter Herman, or so she told herself when she thought of it. She was planning to call him the following morning.
“Can I do anything to help? You ought to go home and get some rest,” he urged, but she was determined to stay and finish.
He went back to his own office after that, and she called Annabelle at home, who was upset that Alex hadn't called her at lunchtime.
“You said you would,” she said, making Alex feel instantly guilty. She had completely forgotten after her unexpected trip to the doctor.
“I know, sweetheart. I meant to, but I got stuck in a meeting with a lot of people and I couldn't call.”
“That's okay, Mommy.” She went on to tell her then everything she'd done that afternoon with Carmen. And listening to her excited little tales made Alex feel almost jealous. She hated even more having to tell her she was going to work late. Suddenly, not being with her seemed all the more poignant.
“Can I wait up for you?” Annabelle said hopefully, as Alex sighed, praying that the shadows in her breast would not turn out to be cancer.
“I'll be too late. But I'll kiss you. I promise. And I'll wake you up tomorrow morning. This is just for this week and next, and then we'll be back to having lunch and dinner together.”
“Are you taking me to ballet this week?” Annabelle was really putting it to her, and Alex was wondering where Sam was.
“I can't. Remember? We talked about it. I'm going to be talking to the judge this week and next. I can't come to ballet.”
“Can't you ask the judge to let you come?”
“No, sweetheart. I wish I could. Where's Daddy? Is he home yet?”
“He's asleep.”
“At this hour?” It was seven o'clock. How could he be asleep?
“He was watching TV and he fell asleep. Carmen says she'll wait for you.”
“Let me talk to her. And Annabelle …” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears as she thought of her, that incredible little pixie face with the big green eyes and the freckles and the red hair. What if Alex died? What if Annabelle lost her mother? The thought of it choked her so badly she couldn't speak for a moment and then she whispered the words. “I love you, Annabelle …”
“I love you too, Mommy. See you later.”
“Sweet dreams.” And then Carmen came on the phone, and Alex told her that she could leave as soon as Annabelle was in bed. All she had to do was wake Sam and tell him she was going.
“I feel bad waking him, Mrs. Parker. I stay till you come home.”
“I won't be home for hours, Carmen. Honestly, just tell him when you want to go. He'll wake up.”
“Okay, okay. When you comin' home?”
“Probably not till around ten o'clock. I have a lot to do in the office.” But when she hung up, she just sat staring at the phone, thinking of all of them, feeling as though she had already lost them. It was as though a shadow had come between her and them today. They were alive, and she might be dying. It wasn't impossible. It was incredible. She still believed there had to be a mistake. She wasn't sick, she didn't have a lump. All she had was a gray shadow on an X ray. But a gray shadow that John Anderson had admitted could kill her, if it was malignant. It was unbelievable. Yesterday she had been trying to get pregnant, and today her own life was in danger. And the hormones she had taken the week before made it all the more difficult now to maintain her composure. They made everything seem more upsetting, and more alarming, and she tried to tell herself that the terror she was feeling wasn't real, it was just the hormones.