“Not throwing up anymore would be a great place to start.”
“You'll get used to it eventually. That's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. Even that you can handle.”
“I know. I find myself on the bathroom floor now, kind of expecting to be there. It doesn't surprise me anymore.” And then she looked stricken again. “But losing my hair does. I know I should have expected it, but I guess I didn't.”
“Have you bought a wig yet?”
“I didn't have time,” Alex said, feeling sad and stupid.
“I'll get you one. A nice red one like your own hair.” Liz patted her shoulder. “Now where's this Christmas list of yours? I'm going to do what I can today, and then Brock and I are going to divide the rest of it tonight, and see if we can't get it all taken care of. I can finish it for you this weekend.” And Carmen had already promised to stay late to wrap the gifts. They were incredible. Who would have thought three months before that the three most important people in her life would turn out to be her housekeeper, her secretary, and her associate at the law firm? But they were all godsends. And she couldn't have made it without them.
She also would never have expected Sam to fail her. He hardly ever came home, and he stayed away from her, as though he couldn't handle it at all anymore. But whenever she saw him, he looked like he was hurrying out, and he was well dressed and looked very handsome.
Brock and Liz both came by late that night, with a treasure trove of goodies. She had called Brock at work and asked him to pick out a really nice handbag for Liz at Saks. He had bought a beautiful black lizard one, and they both agreed she was going to love it. They had bought beautiful things, and after Liz left, Brock stayed for a while, and had a cup of tea with her in her kitchen.
“Thank you for doing all this. I feel like such a burden to everyone.” But she had no choice, and she knew it. She had to accept that.
“It's not such a big deal,” he said quietly. “Going Christmas shopping for a friend is not exactly like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, though I might do that for you too. But you'd have to give me a little warning.”
She smiled gratefully at him, he had been such a good friend, and it meant a lot to her. Staying home for a day had done her good too, and she didn't feel quite as rocky. But she was still feeling sensitive about her hair. She was wearing an Hermes scarf when they dropped by, and Liz had warned him about what had happened. She had wanted to get a wig for her, but she hadn't seen any decent ones, and Alex had said that she was going to get one the next morning.
“Are you alone here now?” Brock asked, referring to Sam, but she understood and shrugged.
“Most of the time.” In the past three weeks, he had traveled a lot and not come home much of the time. She hardly ever saw him. “I'm getting used to it. I think it's harder on Annabelle, though she sees more of him than I do.”
Brock realized it was going to be a tough Christmas for her, with her marriage on the rocks, and her health so frail, and now losing her hair as well as a breast. He felt sorry for her, and wished he could have changed it for her. He had been planning to go skiing in Vermont between Christmas and New Year's, and wondered if he should have offered to stay in town and keep her company, but he didn't think she'd accept it. And then he had a better idea.
“This might sound a little strange, but would you like to come to Vermont with me between Christmas and New Year's?” Knowing her treatment schedule as well as he did, it was easy to figure out that she would be in the better phase, when she was taking neither pills nor IV treatments. “You could bring Annabelle too. I'm staying in a house I borrow from friends every year, at Sugarbush. It's very rustic, but it's comfortable. You could sit by the fire all day, and I could put Annabelle in ski school.”
“Actually I think Sam is taking her away with him before he goes to Europe.