Gathering her courage, she tilted her head to stare up at him. “When you looked at me while feeding earlier, you wanted me.”
Her stomach fluttered and churned as she waited for his answer.
He loosed a soft breath. “Haven—”
“You want me still. Not out of duty. Not because of an oath. Not to feed on me—although that craving is still there as well. You desire me.”
A slight tremor of anticipation and nerves swept through her, and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. It came to her that she had no idea what she was doing. That Stolas was probably right, this was dangerous, but not for the reasons he thought.
Giving her heart to Stolas Darkshade was foolish for about a million reasons.
But she was done being ruled by fear. If today had taught her anything, it was that the future did not belong to them. They only had the promise of this moment.
And she refused to live one more precious second of that borrowed time afraid.
Refused to be the girl without a voice.
The girl who accepted a smaller life because it was easier.
Who didn’t take what she truly wanted because it was safer.
Who dimmed her wants, her needs, her magick to make others comfortable.
She finally knew exactly what she wanted, and he was standing right in front of her.
Lifting the fur covers, she said, “Come here, Stolas.”
And he did.
45
Stolas let out a frustrated snarl. “This will end badly.”
She was startled by how bright his eyes still were. The golden glow was turning brassy yellow, the center already fading. By tomorrow, she would bet the light would be the yellow ring she was used to. “Define badly.”
He went inhumanly still.
Propping on her side, she slowly reached over to touch his face.
His hand shot out, capturing her wrist. The flesh was still tender from where his fingers clenched the night before, and she winced.
He caught her reaction, his magick-swollen eyes sliding to her wrist. “Why did the Goddess make your kind so damn fragile?”
“Then don’t break me.”
“Haven—”
“No.” She brought her other hand up. A low growl started in his chest as she dragged her fingertips softly down the ragged cliff of his cheek—
In one quick movement, he rolled on top of her, his hands pinning her wrists to the soft ground. “Enough.”
“No.”
He was staring down at her, his eyes riveted to her lips. His fingers around her wrists were gentle, so very gentle.
“I want you, Stolas.” Her confession broke open her hard surface to the vulnerability beneath, but she managed to hold his stare. “I know now that you want me too but you’re afraid you will hurt me.”
“I will hurt you.”
She didn’t know if he meant physically or otherwise. “No, you won’t. Let me prove it to you.”
She tugged a hand free and slipped it through his tousled hair.
He froze, a puff of air trickling from his parted lips. A low groan followed. “Do you know why my fangs are still retracted, Haven? I am still in the thralls of bloodlust. Every beat of your heart, every flicker of fear you try to hide arouses the greedy monster inside me.”
Those soft strands slid through her fingers as she grasped the base of his horn, and then she pulled him to her. Surprise flashed in his eyes, followed by something darker.
Something that should have terrified her, but didn’t.
“And what about this?” she whispered. She let her teeth graze his bottom lip. Let her tongue flick out. “Which part of you does that arouse?”
She felt the last of his restraint melt away as he settled on top of her. His mouth crushed hers. His tongue parted her lips, first claiming and then softer as he explored her. The tips of his fangs pricked her bottom lip, metallic warmth filling her mouth.
Growling, he kissed her harder, the taste of her blood mixing with the taste of him.
“This is agony,” he whispered.
Heart racing, she curled her legs around his waist. “And now?”
“Such a wicked thing,” he half-chuckled, half-growled. He lifted back to look at her, his eyes luminous, spilling magick straight from the Nihl. “What shall I do with you?”
“Take off my dress.”
His jaw flexed. Still holding her gaze, he caught the slit of her gown, his knuckles scraping up her thigh as he dragged the fabric up. She closed her eyes as he tugged the silky material over her head, and when she reopened them, he was drinking her in.