A Lie for a Lie (All In) - Helena Hunting Page 0,105
this part of my life? Shit. I can’t even handle it right now!”
Time seems to move too quickly and too slowly. I have no idea how long it’s been since the paramedics came through. They could’ve gone out a back way with her.
Alex claps me on the back of the neck. “Take a breath, man. It’s not always gonna be like this. The girls are with her, and they’re not going to let her go anywhere without you. Violet says they’re not in the bathroom anymore.”
“Where the hell are they?”
“It looks like they’re in the private room now.”
My throat feels tight as I follow the security detail—which we probably should’ve had right from the start—up to the second floor. The private room overlooks the dance floor and is full of my teammates. I frantically scan the room for Lainey, but it’s dark, and everyone is freaking bigger than she is. I finally spot Violet in her red dress and beeline for her. “Where’s Lainey? Is she okay?”
“She’s right over—” Violet thumbs over her shoulder, and I don’t even wait until she’s finished speaking before I head in the direction she pointed.
I find Lainey in the corner over by the bar, flanked on either side by Sunny and Poppy. I grab her and pull her against my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. We can go home. I didn’t think it was going to be so intense. I’m so sorry.”
She’s rigid in my arms, and I’m terrified that I’ve fucked this all up, that it’s too much too soon and that I’ve undone all the progress we’ve made with one stupid decision. She puts a hand on my chest and pushes, so I reluctantly release my hold on her and step back. My anxiety is through the roof, and I finally have some inkling as to how she must feel when things get totally out of control for her, because I feel like everything is out of control for me.
“Take a breath.” Her warm, soft hand smooths up my chest.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. Let’s go home. We’ll use a back exit.”
“RJ, I’m fine.” She settles a palm on my cheek, and I cover it with my hand, keeping her connected to me.
“But we were swarmed.” I run my free hand down her arm and search her face and any other exposed skin for marks or bruises or any other sign that she’s been harmed in some way. “And then I couldn’t see where you’d gone and you have my phone and there were so many fucking people and I didn’t know where you were.” Jesus. I think I’m losing it right now.
“Hey, hey.” Lainey takes my face in both her hands. “Deep breath, baby. I’m here, and I’m fine.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “Looks like my big teddy bear needs some safety cuddles.”
I pull her against me, not really caring if I look weak or like an idiot, because she’s right. I need her—to feel her and know she’s safe and here. I bury my face against her neck and work on calming the hell down. “I thought this was going to be too much for you, and then you’d leave me.”
She keeps her arms draped over my shoulders but leans back, forcing me to lift my head. “Why would I leave you over something like this?”
I keep my arms locked around her waist so she can’t go anywhere, not that it seems like she’s planning to. “I just . . . I thought it would be too much like what happened when you were in college, and then you’d decide you couldn’t handle it, or me, or my life, and then you’d say forget it.”
She fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. “You do realize how completely irrational that is, right?”
I actually didn’t realize that at all until she pointed it out just now. “I panicked,” I say meekly.
“I panic all the time, and you still love me, don’t you?”
“You’re way more chill than you used to be.”
“That’s because I have you and your safety cuddles and Kody and all of these amazing people who love and support me. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a swarm of fans to get rid of me, RJ.” She tips her chin up, looking for a kiss.
I drop my head and steal a long one. “I love you,” I tell her when I finally come back up for air.