Letting Go (Triple Eight Ranch) - By Mary Beth Lee Page 0,45
The 888 sign painted over the wrought iron fence a white washed gazebo with trumpet vine wrapped around the sides, a natural flower garden with new potting soil around the edges of gazebo.
Under the starlight he thought it might be even prettier than in daylight.
“My mother did this?” she whispered stepping forward, her hand to her mouth in shock.
“Your mother and José and some of the other hands. But yeah, mostly your momma.”
Clarissa’s heart broke. She’d thought…accused….
“I thought she was trying to turn your daddy into a philanderer. I thought…”
She reached the gate, pushed it open and sank to her knees beside the flowers. “I thought she was wicked and horrible, and I wanted her gone, Jed. I wanted her gone.”
And suddenly she couldn’t stop.
“I wanted her gone and now she is and it’s too late for me to tell her I see how she changed, how she was better, how she wanted to be different.”
She sobbed the words as her heart shattered and then Jed was kneeling beside her, pulling her into his arms.
“It’s okay, Clarissa. Your momma didn’t blame you. She knew what she’d done was too much. That it would take time. She knew, and she was determined to give you all the time you needed.”
She leaned into him, let him hold her her closer.
“You don’t understand. I hated her. You can’t imagine how much I hated her, Jed.”
“It doesn’t matter, Clarissa. She knew it would take time. That’s what she told us. That’s why she started working on this area. She thought it might take a decade to turn it into a place for weddings and such. She thought maybe by the end of a decade you’d be ready to forgive her.”
His words shocked her even more, made her feel even worse.
“I want to be ready, Jed. I want to forgive her now. I want to tell her I’m sorry, but I can’t. You have no idea. It’s killing me inside.”
And then she covered her face with her hands and sobbed because as much as she hated Tammy Jo for what she’d done to them, she loved her, too. Before it had been in spite of who she’d been. Now it was because. It was all too much.
Jed pulled her to his chest and whispered words of comfort.
“It’s okay, Clarissa. It’s okay.”
But she shook her head and looked up at him. “I’m not sure it will ever be okay again,” she said.
And then his lips were on hers in a kiss that stopped everything.
Once the kiss started, Clarissa wanted it to go on forever. She wanted to lose herself in its sweetness. Wanted to forget the pain of the last three days.
She wanted too much.
Jed set her away first, but the smile on his face spoke volumes.
“Clarissa, honey, we’ve got to stop.”
Instant mortification hit. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” she said, scooting away from him, but he stopped her with a hand on her knee, and she felt sparks all the way to the ends of her hair.
“No, don’t be sorry. I’m certainly not.” He sounded so offended at the idea she couldn’t help but laugh, which was quite the relief after the sorrow of the last few minutes.
“I guess we better head back,” she said and started to get up, but he stopped her again.
“Hold up. There’s one more thing,” he said.
And then he lay down on the ground and patted the space next to him. Indecision held her still for a moment before she realized this was Jed and he’d never do anything to hurt her.
She lay down on the ground in the crook of his arm and he pointed to the stars overhead.
And she realized once again that Jed Dillon was a good man. A good, good man.
Chapter Twelve
That night after Jed dropped her off at the bunkhouse with a chaste kiss, Clarissa walked up the stairs to her mother’s room and opened the bible and prayer journal to the pages on forgiveness. And there on the floor beside the bed, she knelt and asked God to help her forgive her mother and help her find peace and self-acceptance. She poured her heart out to God and told Him she believed in Him and trusted Him with her life. She’d follow His guidance.
After that she slept like she hadn’t in years.
The next morning Clarissa woke to the sound of her cell phone ringing. Caller ID showed Pete who told her the new apartment was ready for her as soon as she was