“That’s right. I used to get up with her in the middle of the night. Give her bottles and everything. And even when she was sick, I was there. I missed a ton of school but that was okay. I didn't care. I needed to be there with her. Except, I wasn’t… when she…”
“Where were you?” I asked.
“I got drunk and high with Murph,” Josh said. “It was right when I started hanging with them. When Delaney got sick, I got angry. So angry. I started to go looking for fights. Looking for ways to relieve the anger. I couldn’t stand seeing my grandmother upset. Seeing her shaking. It was all falling apart right in front of me. It was horrible to watch.”
I squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m so sorry, Josh. That does nothing for you. But I have to say it.”
“I was out one night, and Delaney let go. She was never afraid of dying though. She kept telling me she was going to fly.”
Fly, baby, fly.
The words echoed and made my heart twist.
“She always said that,” Josh said. “She was going to fly. I was so drunk that night. And stoned. And then I went home, and my grandmother told me what happened. She refused to use the word dead. Or died. She just told people that Delaney went to fly. And then the house was suddenly quiet. Empty. My grandmother getting worse. And…”
Josh choked on his words.
He looked down at my hand holding his.
He smiled.
“Then there was you, love,” he whispered. “This beautiful girl out of nowhere always pulling me back from the fire.”
“Josh, what you did for me…”
He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine.
He pulled his hand free and walked away.
I watched as he threw the bottle back and chugged the rest of his beer.
He placed the bottle on the counter and went to the fridge for another one.
He stood with his back to me.
My mouth started to run dry. I ached for him. In so many ways.
“You saved my life," I said. “What you did for me. You saved me. Even though things didn't work out. And I understand why they didn't work out. I loved you, Josh.”
“That fixes nothing,” he said.
My lip curled.
I moved across the cool, hard floor of the apartment with a purpose.
I thought about grabbing his shoulder and trying to turn him around. But that wouldn't work. Josh was too big and strong. But I hated to feel weak. I wasn’t weak.
At the last second, I made my move.
I jumped on his back.
Josh barely moved.
He reached forward and put his beer down.
“Amelia…”
“Shut up,” I growled. “I’m so sorry for what you lost. And what you went through. And what happened to you. It’s not right. It’s not right at all.” I slid my right hand down his chest. “But I’m here. I’m here, Josh.”
“You don’t know what you’re getting into here,” he said. “The story never ends.”
“It’s not supposed to. We’re still writing it.”
“Don’t get all cliché on me, love. It's only going to piss me off.”
I hung from Josh’s back in a playful and flirty way. But the feeling of my legs around him, the pulsing ache between my legs controlling my thoughts, I was in big trouble.
“Then maybe you should make me be quiet,” I said.
That was just as cliché as the other thing I said.
Josh stepped back until my ass hit the counter. He bent his knees and made me sit on it. He unlocked my grip on his shoulder and chest.
He spun around and faced me.
Without hesitation, he cupped my face with his strong and protective hands.
My hands touched his hands.
I lost my breath.
My lips parted, looking for air.
Josh moved in and kissed me.
Slightly turning his head, not just kissing me but kissing me.
His tongue swept across my lips and the tip of my tongue. I instantly bit down, not sure why, but managed to grab his bottom lip. My hands went for the top of his jeans and pulled him closer to me. I wanted to feel him.
Josh carefully tilted my head back, commanding me with his hands.
I managed to let out a soft groan as I stared up at the ceiling.
His lips touched my neck and I felt myself turning into a puddle.
I was helpless to his touch.
His tongue wrote something from one side of my neck to the other, but I had no idea what it was. What I did know was that