That thing was the size of a golf ball and one time when he was sober and in a good mood, I took the chance and asked him why that knuckle was so big. He said it was from smashing it so many times when working on cars.
That big knuckle hit the corner of my lip just enough to draw blood but not enough to actually hurt me.
Which I took as some kind of sad win. Because as he spun from throwing the punch, he fell to the ground. Mom opened the door to the car and stood there, completely unsure of what to do.
I looked at her.
I looked at my father on the ground as he started to get back up.
Mom had the chance to start the car again. To tell me to come with her. The two of us could have gotten out of there for good.
But she didn’t do that. She didn’t say that.
Which meant I was on my own again.
So, I had no choice.
I ran.
Chapter 27
Burn It With a Kiss
THEN
(Josh)
Murph brought a girl with him. She wanted to be called Cassie, but I knew that wasn’t her real name. Which was cool with me. I understood what it was like to want a new name and what it was like to pretend to be someone else.
Murph couldn’t keep his hands off Cassie, just as she couldn’t keep her eyes off me. Which wasn’t cool with me. I would never go near a girl claimed by someone else. Not that I gave a shit about Murph, Nash, or Abel. They were just people to me. Not even friends anymore. The roads they were starting to go down weren’t ones that I wanted. Which meant I knew there was a timeline on our time together. So, we’d keep raising hell, run from the cops, and eventually figure shit out.
“Hey, bro, check it out,” Abel said to me as he elbowed me.
I looked to my left and saw Murph making out with Cassie.
He looked like he was eating her face.
I shook my head.
By our age, we should have known how to kiss a girl. Especially if we were looking for something more than just a kiss from her.
Cassie looked uncomfortable with her hands at her sides. Murph started to move his hands and I looked away from them.
I grabbed Abel by the shirt. “Let’s walk. Give them privacy.”
“Hey, speaking of, where’s your girl, Josh?” Nash asked me.
“Don’t worry about her,” I said.
“We never see her. And we never see you two hooking up.”
I stopped walking and went nose to nose with Nash. “What the fuck are you suggesting?”
“Nothing,” Nash said.
“Hey, take it easy,” Abel said.
He grabbed my shoulder.
I turned and kept walking.
I went over to the edge and looked down the street at my father’s house.
I wondered what kind of hell I could cause tonight for him. It surprised me that he didn’t have the police circling his house yet, looking for the asshole who kept messing with him. Or maybe he knew it was me doing it. And he just didn’t have the balls to face me. To come up to me and take me on. Man to man. Father to son. The piece of shit who created me. The piece of shit who abandoned me. The piece of shit who dropped off a baby and left. For good.
My stomach gurgled with anger.
Too young for this shit.
What he did.
What happened to my best friend.
And now look what I had…
“Let’s burn it down,” I said.
“What?” Nash asked.
“The house. Tonight. Let’s do it. Let’s burn it down.”
“Jesus, man,” Abel said. “That’s crazy.”
“I’m in a crazy mood,” I said. “You with me?”
They both looked scared to death.
They could pussy out. That was fine. But I was going to do it.
Burn that fucking house down. And everything my father had inside it.
“Josh…,” Nash said.
“Fuck you both then,” I said. “Go watch Murph make out with Cassie then.”
“Hey, wait a second,” Abel said. “Someone’s coming.”
We all dipped from the sidewalk to the bushes as headlights approached.
The headlights turned and I watched a vehicle park.
When the headlights died, I saw it was a minivan.
My father’s minivan.
He got out of the driver’s seat.
Tall, skinny, a hat on his head. Looking the same as I remembered. The ghost and the demon that never left my soul.
He opened the side of the minivan and out came two kids.
They were maybe seven or eight.
A boy and a girl.
He high fived the boy and then messed with his hair.