to myself. I would work on it later. For now, I was going home and changing into something more appropriate for the walk up to my favorite spot in the park.
Now that he’d dubbed it our spot, I knew I would never be able to think of it any other way. It would always be our spot.
Chapter 67
Xander
I was so close to losing her. I sensed it in her voice. I wasn’t expecting her to jump at the chance to see me, but I wasn’t expecting such resistance either.
The sense of urgency I felt was making me anxious. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It had taken me way too long to realize how I felt about her. Anytime I thought about my life in a month or a year or in ten years, she was there. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but I knew she was a person I wanted in my life. It wasn’t even a want. It was a need. I needed the woman like I needed air.
I was prepared to chase her down if I had to. I would do whatever it took to make her hear me out. I knew there was still a chance she would kick me to the curb. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I had fucked up. A lot. I would spend the next year trying to convince her to give me a chance. I couldn’t explain when things clicked but they had.
It was like the light went on. I hated that I was so ignorant for so damn long. I hated to think of the pain I caused her. I hated myself for not treating her right. I didn’t deserve her, but I was sure as hell going to do what I could to be the man she deserved.
I paced the area, checking the time. The sun was beginning to set. Streaks of orange stretched across the sky, creating the most perfect backdrop. It was all perfect. Now, I just needed her to show up. She texted and let me know she was running late. That was a first. I had to believe it was intentional. I was late all the time.
I checked behind me. She still wasn’t there. My little picnic basket was sitting on the bench. Fortunately, it was a weekday, and no one seemed to be around. Most people preferred not to hike at night. A horrible thought crossed my mind. I was putting the woman on a path in the fading light all by herself. Maybe not the best idea. I thought about meeting her at the bottom of the trail.
I heard footsteps and hoped it was her. I spun around to see her making her way up the trail “Hi,” I said and walked toward her.
She was wearing a pair of shorts and a light jacket. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. There was a vulnerability about her that pulled at my heartstrings.
She smiled. “Hi.”
“You look beautiful,” I told her. “Damn, you are so fucking gorgeous. I swear you grow prettier by the day.”
“You are being very charming,” she said with a forced laugh. “I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.”
“I brought some snacks,” I blurted out and immediately felt like a jackass. “I mean, I brought a picnic. Of sorts.”
“Snacks? I thought you said you wanted to talk. Why did you want to talk here?”
“Because this spot is special to us. I brought a picnic because I wanted to create a whole thing. I wanted us to enjoy a picnic with the sunset in our special place.”
“You keep calling it our special place,” she said warily.
“It is special. I will always remember the first time we came here. It was really the first time I got to see you for the woman you are.”
“I appreciate that, but I feel like this is a lot of pomp and circumstance.”
I shrugged. “I wanted to show you I can treat you right.”
“So you brought a picnic?”
“I did.”
“How long do you anticipate this conversation going?” she asked with a great deal of skepticism.
“I figured I would hope for the best, and maybe if things went well, there would be some star gazing.”
She was being standoffish. “I’m not sure what you expect to happen here. I don’t want to keep doing this. I keep showing up and you keep walking away.”
She was killing me. “I know.”
“Then I’m asking you to please, just tell me what’s going on.”