and owning a company. It wasn’t just me I had to worry about.
Chapter 56
Evie
I couldn’t shake the heavy feeling on my heart and mind. I missed Xander. Each day he stayed away served as confirmation our relationship was not what I thought it was.
He had his own life. He was making plans and moving on. His plans did not include me. I did believe he felt something for me, but it wasn’t enough to bring him back to me.
“You look like you haven’t been sleeping,” my father said.
I looked across the table and offered a small and what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ve been working a lot.”
“I don’t think that’s the reason for your lack of sleep. If anything, you would sleep like a baby after a long day at work.”
“I have a lot on my mind,” I said with a sigh.
He sipped his tea. I could never understand how he could drink hot tea on a hot day. “Do you want to tell me what happened? You’ve been so busy—or maybe you’ve been avoiding me—you never told me if you found Xander.”
“I found him,” I said. My mind flashed back to the moment I found him at the funeral. Then to the night in the hotel.
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess things didn’t go well.”
“They went fine.”
“Then why do you look like your world is caving in on you?” he asked.
I studied his face. “Why are you asking? You don’t even like him.”
He smirked, sipping his tea. “I don’t like him. My opinion of him hasn’t changed.”
“Then we don’t have to talk about this,” I told him. “I cannot stand fighting with you right now. I don’t have the energy.”
“I’m your father. I care about you. I want to know what’s bothering you. You can talk to me about your problems.”
I took a bite of the pie I’d ordered after our lunch. I was eating my feelings and I didn’t give a shit what that meant. Chocolate cream pie was exactly what I needed. “All right, I’ll tell you but please don’t judge me.”
“You have my word,” he said.
“I found him. I went to the funeral with him. His father and him have a horrible relationship. It was sad and crushed my soul to see him as an outsider at his own brother’s funeral. He didn’t make it through the whole thing. He chose to go back to his hotel by himself. I had to let him go.”
He looked pained. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for him. No one should go through that.”
“The following day, he did seem to rebound a little. We explored the town and enjoyed a nice lunch, followed by an even better dinner.”
His knowing smile left me blushing a little. “It sounds like you two enjoyed your time together.”
“We did.”
“Then why do you look like hell?”
I scowled at him. “Dad, you are not supposed to say that to a woman.”
“You have circles under your eyes and you look exhausted. What happened?”
“He didn’t come home to San Diego. He isn’t coming home. Everything I thought we had is slowly fading away. He says he wants to have a relationship with me, but I can feel it slipping away. I’m busy and he has found things to do to occupy his time. The few times we do talk, the conversations are getting shorter and feel more stilted. I know it’s only a matter of time before it fades away completely. We didn’t have a solid foundation to begin with. There is nothing holding us together.”
“You are really struggling with this,” he said.
I had to fight back the tears. “I am. I don’t expect you to understand or empathize. I suppose this is the part where you tell me you told me so. You can say it, but don’t say anything bad about Xander. He is a good man, a very good man. He can’t help the baggage he’s been forced to carry around. He handles it the best way he can.”
“I haven’t said that.”
“But you are thinking it.”
“I’m thinking I see my little girl struggling. I can see how much you care about him. I am never going to be the man’s biggest cheerleader, but clearly, you are. My allegiance is to you. I see you are hurting. I don’t want you to hurt.”
The tears were becoming harder to fight off. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I think I have to concede in this battle. You are happier with him than you are without him.