Your Xander is very much the same. He’s stubborn and bullheaded and he has the same mindset. He thinks he can do anything. This is going to be a blow.”
My dad had never opened up to me. He had never been so honest with his feelings. I leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.”
“I’ve coped. Now, it’s time for you to help him cope.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“Go to him.”
“Not right now,” I told him.
He smiled. “No, right now, I’d like to be a little selfish and monopolize your time for a couple of hours. Give him the night. He might need some privacy to grieve. Your relationship is fairly new, and a man will not be comfortable releasing his emotions in front of a woman he is still trying to impress.”
“He doesn’t need to impress me,” I said.
He shrugged and smiled. “There is a reason cavemen pounded their chest. Men have a need to impress their women. It doesn’t go away with time.”
“You are so right.”
The rest of the evening, I did my best to focus on my father. I smiled and shook hands with his colleagues and did my best to play the dutiful daughter. In the back of my mind, I thought about Xander. I sent a text message every hour, asking him if he was okay and letting him know I was thinking about him. I never got a response and I didn’t really expect to.
I just needed him to know he wasn’t alone. His words had twisted my guts and shattered me a million times over. I hated that he felt so alone. I hated that he thought he had to be that way for the rest of his life. In the moment, I didn’t think arguing with him was the best approach. I let him say his piece and hoped we could talk about it again when he wasn’t so raw.
I wasn’t sure I would get the chance to tell him I understood his obsession with his work. I got the same way. I didn’t feel neglected. He needed to know he had done nothing wrong. He was a good man. I just had to make him see it and believe it. I didn’t think I could rely on his father to boost his feelings of self-worth. Maybe I was the one being overly confident and arrogant, but I was convinced I was the only person who could make him see he was worthy.
Monday morning
I was being way too forward. I should mind my own business. I had no business being in his office, but here I was, strolling down the hall in my power suit, pretending I belonged. The receptionist told me the presentation was being held in the conference room and directed me to where to go. I told her I was the assistant to one of the attendees. She didn’t question my story.
I never got a single text back from him all weekend. The gate at his house was closed and locked tight. I was going to track the man down and make him listen to me. He was going to at least hear what I had to say. If he kicked me out, so be it, but not until after I said what I had to say.
I walked into the conference room and took a seat. No one paid me any mind as they chatted amongst themselves. I waited for fifteen minutes, checking the time every five minutes. Xander was always late, I told myself.
After forty-five minutes, it was clear he wasn’t coming. The others in the room began to leave one at a time. None of them were very happy. I went back to talk to the receptionist, who had a very worried look on her face. She had been calling him and never got an answer.
Alarm bells were going off in my head. I left and drove straight to his house. My heart was pounding as I pulled to a stop in front of the gate. I got out, looking for a way in. “Fuck!” I shouted, more nervous than pissed.
I drove to a parking area that would allow me to walk down to the beach. I took off my heels when I hit the sand, carrying them as I ran along the sandy beach. I found his stairs and did my best to haul ass up them. It was not an easy feat. By the time