Let It Go - Peter Walsh Page 0,50

those sausage grinders touches your heart in a particular way. Maybe it’s the one with the handle that’s more worn down from your father’s hand. Maybe the best book from your father’s medical practice is the one with the most notes he doodled in the margins, or it’s the one you remember him pulling off the shelf to help you answer a science question in 11th grade.

You don’t need everything if you have the one best thing. Focus all your love, gratitude, and pride for this aspect of your loved one into this singular thing. Downsizing means using a little flash drive to store your memories—not a supercomputer.

Q. What if some of my “mosts, bests, and greatests” list of treasures kind of bums me out?

Some of the items linked to our important moments bring up a mix of emotions, like the things that remind us of people we’ve lost or the hard times we’ve endured.

If that memento of your late mother brings up grief every time you look at it, then the difficult truth is that it’s time to get rid of it so you won’t look at it anymore. This is a malignant item—not a treasure. Instead, keep a different item that helps you remember her in a way that feels better to you.

Objects have the power to immediately return us to a certain time and place. This can be a happy experience that we enjoy reminiscing about or a sad one that evokes memories we’d rather forget. You have a choice over which you’ll remember.

Dig deeper so you can hear the precise message that this hurtful object is telling you. Is it time to talk to a professional with a background in grief counseling so you can work through your feelings?

Also, when you see evidence of an adversity you overcame, if your feelings are more bitter than sweet, let this item go. It, too, is malignant. I’ve noticed that people sometimes keep medical equipment after an illness or surgery way longer than they should. On the one hand, these objects are a testament to a trauma that they’ve overcome, but it’s also possible that these things keep jabbing at an emotionally sore spot for no good reason.

If you have an item that reminds you how you rose phoenix-like to become stronger than ever, then keep it. It’s a treasure. If it just reminds you that you got really, really sick once, then let it go. It’s malignant.

Q. A lot of my stuff is still necessary for an element of my identity. Do I have to pick out only the best?

No. If you’re still a working professional, keep the gear you regularly use. If you’re still a bobsledder, keep your bobsled. These things aren’t treasures—they’re worthy items.

On the other hand, if you have a formerly worthy item linked to an important part of your identity from the past, or that you think will someday help your loved ones recall a “most, best, or greatest” about you, then consider whether it could be a treasure. (This could be, perhaps, the calculator you used in accounting school or the backpack you carried when you were a Scout leader.)

STEP 3: DEFINE YOUR WORTHY ITEMS

You’ll be sorting through:

I-MIGHT-NEED-IT ITEMS

Worthy items

Items that might be worthy to someone else

Most likely, your I-Might-Need-It Items feel pretty important to you, but they’re not glued to you with powerful emotional bonds like your Memory Items. So in one regard, if it’s time to leave these behind, you can probably do so more easily. On the other hand, you have a lot more of these items, so this step may take more time.

The I-Might-Need-It Items are things that are useful to someone, whether that’s you, a family member, a friend, or a stranger. The worthy items are things within this category that you’ll keep, so long as you use them regularly and have space for them in your new home. The rest of the I-Might-Need-It Items will go . . . somewhere else. We’ll get back to them later.

As you judge the worthiness of the items in your home, ask yourself: “Is this thing useful enough to warrant the space it will require?” My guess is that your socks and underwear will meet this benchmark, and likely your silverware, suits, ties, and basic home-repair tools will, too. If your new home has a guest suite, perhaps you should bring your extra set of bath towels, even if you don’t use them much now. If you’re moving to a studio