Let It Go - Peter Walsh Page 0,42

it loses its power. This “reframing” becomes another strength that will help see you through your move. You’ll also let go of negative emotions related to your stuff, so the treasures that make you feel good have more prominence in your new life.

#1: I’m going to make the wrong decision.

This is one of the most common “fears” among downsizers. Some items are irreplaceable. If you part with your T-shirt from the rally for the presidential candidate who visited your town in 1992, you’re not likely to come across another one again.

On the same note, if you offer a family heirloom to one child, and another child wanted it badly, you can never take that offer back as if it never happened. Sometimes downsizing is a bit of a gamble, and once you place your bet, you’re committed to accepting the outcome.

But these feelings aren’t a fear. They’re an anxiety. We tend to be anxious about situations that feel out of our control. When you let an item go, you lose control over it. If it goes away and you want it back, you might not be able to regain it. If loved ones get upset over a decision, ultimately it’s up to them to make peace with it. You can’t control their responses.

So reframe that anxiety. Think about it this way: You’re gaining more control over your downsizing situation right now! You’re picking up the knowledge and tools to make informed decisions that you’ll be pleased with in the long run.

Before, you might have had less insight into memories—and the treasures attached to those memories—that were important to you. You may have been unaware of which elements of your identity were central to how you see yourself, and which possessions supported those parts of your identity.

But you know these things now! And before you finish this book, you’ll learn more ways to make decisions that will leave you feeling confident and in control. By understanding yourself, your loved ones, and the choices you’re about to make, you greatly lower the chance of making decisions you’ll later regret.

On a side note, choosing to downsize mindlessly and without self-awareness is a decision in itself: You would be deciding to shirk your responsibility by taking your hands off the wheel. So you might as well make a decision that protects your interests!

Reframing tip: It’s very likely you are going to make a few mistakes and have a couple of missteps, but that’s the nature of working through the accumulation of a lifetime. Accept these as expected moments that don’t require anxiety.

#2: I’m going to lose my memories.

It’s not uncommon for people to collect ticket stubs from movies they see and concerts they attend. These are a terrific way to jog your memory. Given that they bear the date and location of the show, you’ll likely remember the car you drove and who was with you, and you may even remember the outfit you wore and the restaurant where you ate beforehand.

If you were to throw the tickets away (which I wouldn’t necessarily recommend you do unless they dredge up hurtful memories, since they take up little space), you would very likely lose these details.

That’s a big reason why people are afraid to let things go: They worry that with the objects gone, the memories attached to them will also disappear. That’s a valid concern. We tend to get fuzzy about specific events over time, and as we grow older, it’s reasonable to want reminders of where we’ve been.

But this fear is a form of sadness, and it’s a sadness that you don’t need to carry forward when you’re downsizing. I’d like for you to reframe this fear and think differently about it. Realize that downsizing gives you the chance to relive your memories, perhaps uncovering some you’ve forgotten, and then preserve the most important ones.

As you downsize, find some time to explore your photo albums and inspect your memorabilia. Scan through your old journals and cassette tapes. Savor the opportunity to walk through the halls of your own personal museum. Be excited! Be glad that you were alive to make these memories in the first place, that you had the foresight to record them, and that you get to keep the treasures buried in this stuff!

Some memories, however, are too bad to keep. If you encounter objects that give you a stab of hurt instead of a zing of joy, don’t hesitate to let them go. Now is the time. Out go the