She forced herself to be honest. “I know myself, Evangeline. I won’t stay if I don’t feel he loves me. It won’t be enough that our leopards are bonded. I’m trying to convince myself that it will be good, but only the sex feels good between us.”
“You need to sit that man down and tell him your fears, Ania.”
“I don’t want him to say the things he thinks I want to hear.”
“He isn’t a mind reader. None of them are. Mitya, Fyodor, Timur, Sevastyan and Gorya, actually all of them, lived extremely difficult lives as children. They don’t know the first thing about a relationship. I didn’t either, but Fyodor and I have sort of figured it out. We talk a lot. If you’re going to be with a man like these men, you have to communicate with them. They want a home and a family, but they don’t know how to get those things. They’re looking to you to show them the way.”
Ania sat back, stretching her legs out in front of her. She was so tired. Death was exhausting. Just thinking about her father and the loss of every family member was so emotionally draining that she couldn’t breathe. Her lungs felt raw and were burning. Her throat felt the same. Her eyes burned from shed and unshed tears.
“Mitya has been wonderful throughout all of this,” she admitted. He wasn’t in the best of shape, and neither was she, so they hadn’t had their crazy, wild sex. She had to admit, she needed that affirmation that he still wanted her, even though she appreciated him giving her space. “He took care of all the details.”
“As he should,” Evangeline said. “Talk to him, Ania. Tell him your fears. If you do, the two of you can figure out why Jewel is so frightened. Turning to another man won’t help you. That, for certain, will only scare you more. Mitya is committed to you. I know he is because Fyodor asked him straight out. He would never let another claim on you go unchallenged.”
“You mean another claim on my leopard,” Ania corrected. “How can you tell Fyodor loves you for you?”
Evangeline frowned. “I feel it every time he touches me. When he looks at me. It’s there in the things he does for me.”
Ania couldn’t help thinking that Mitya had been shot several times, and yet he’d planned her father’s service and stood at her side the entire time, not letting on in the least that he was hurt in any way. He stayed close to her, shielding her from scrutiny, from too many people crowding close when she could barely stand straight. He gave her strength through the entire service. Was that a show of love? Maybe his actions spoke when he couldn’t with words.
“I don’t know why I’m so afraid to talk to him about this. I think it’s because if he doesn’t react well, he’d crush me.”
“When a problem crops up, does he crush you?”
She couldn’t say he did. In fact, when she’d been in trouble at Evangeline’s bakery, Jewel acting up in front of Alessandro, essentially teasing and flirting with his leopard, Mitya had been wonderful to her. He hadn’t blamed her in the least. More than once, he’d reacted very differently than she’d expected him to.
“No, he’s been sweet to me, but he’s horribly bossy.”
Evangeline flashed her a smug little grin. “They all are. We mostly ignore that, unless we can see it really matters to them. If it matters to me, I let Fyodor know. He finds a way to deal with my ‘mutiny,’ as he calls it.” She laughed softly. “I really love that man.”
“I guess I’m ready to face the masses. Is it thinning out at all?”
“Not really, but Mitya and Sevastyan are taking care of making certain every family is thanked for coming. They’ve made the rounds quite a few times. So have Fyodor, Gorya and Timur. You’re family now, so we’re closing ranks around you.”
That made Ania feel better. Much better. She hadn’t thought that when she was married to Mitya, all of the others would be related to her. She liked the idea of having them all for family, especially Evangeline and Ashe.
Another knock at the door and Ashe was there, framed in the doorway, looking gorgeous as usual. “There’s a gentleman here who would very much like to pay his condolences in person, Ania, and have a few words with you if you’re up for it.”