He gives a curt nod and focuses on Mia again. “Does your mom know you left the property?”
Mia’s staring down at her feet. “No, sir.”
Dad sighs heavily but doesn’t say any more. He gets in his truck and starts the engine. “The older boys are still asleep,” he tells me. “So eat as much as you can before they get up.” He winks at me, a silent message I don’t quite understand.
Mia and I watch until his truck disappears down the driveway. I hop off the bike and take my backpack from her. “Want to do it again tomorrow?”
She bites her lip, her eyes the lightest I’d ever seen when they make contact with mine. There’s something about the way she always looks at me, the way her gaze stops on me for just a second whenever we’re in the same room. I both love it and fear it.
“You’re not in trouble?” she asks.
“Nah.” At least not from my dad. My brothers—that’s a different story. And I hope that Dad won’t tell them about us.
I’ve been with girls before—in the way most seventh graders have. I’ve held hands and kissed a couple, but they never lasted. Sometimes it’s because they wanted me to be something I wasn’t. They pushed for more than I was willing to give, and they’d end things before they even began. To be honest, I didn’t care. It’s not as if I truly felt anything for them. Most of the time, my brothers would find a way to ruin it. Either the twins would tease us, or Lucas would exist; they’d fall for him instead, or Logan would steal them just because he’s Logan.
With Mia—it was different. I don’t know why, and I can’t explain it. Not even to myself. I’m terrified that I’ll say or do something to make her not like me, even as friends, so it was easier to just not show her too much of myself. Or not enough.
But I was in it now, and I was in deep.
The last thing I want is my brothers ruining this for me.
Whatever this is.
“Same time?” she asks, and I nod, hiding my pathetic grin until we part ways.
I make it through most of the day, thinking I’m home free. My brothers have no idea about this morning. It’s not until halfway through dinner when Dad says, “I don’t know how I feel about you and Mia sneaking off in the middle of the night,” that I know it’s all over. There’s a twisting in my chest, right before my heart drops to my stomach. Logan and Lucas cut off their guffaws when Dad gives them a pointed glare. The twins giggle to each other, then laugh at me. Lachlan throws mashed potato across the table and hits Logan square in the face. “You little shit!” Logan yells.
“Logan!” Dad reprimands. “He’s just a baby!”
“He’s three!” he yells back, using a spoon as a slingshot to catapult a clump of potato back at our youngest brother. It misses, hits one of the twins, World War III starts, and I do what I always do when that shit happens.
I check out.
Eat my food.
Wash my dishes.
And walk away.
I go to my room, lie flat on the bed, and stare at the ceiling, my fists balling. It doesn’t take long for my door to burst open, for Lucas and Logan to enter unannounced. “Mia?” Luke says. “Really?”
“They’re sneaking off in the middle of the night.” Logan chuckles. “I thought I was the bad one.”
I don’t react.
Reacting only makes things worse.
“She’s a little… weird, don’t you think?” Luke adds.
Logan scoffs. “Understatement. But so is Leo.”
Lucas laughs. “Did you kiss her?”
“Did you fuck her?” Logan cackles.
In this moment, I hate them both. Not because they’re saying what they’re saying, but…
All I wanted was one thing that’s mine and mine alone. And Mia’s that “thing.” And they’re taking away the importance of the time we’ve shared.
They’re taking away her.
They’re ruining it all, and I know they’ll keep finding ways to make it worse, just like they do everything else.
I won’t let them.
Not this time.
She means too much to me, and I don’t want to erase how I felt this morning, or last night, when it was just us and no one else, and I know… I know I’ll never be able to have moments like that again now that my brothers know.