The first morning we sat up there, I told him that the sunrise made me feel like the world was being split in two. He said that it reminded him of me. I didn’t know what he meant, not back then and not even now. But right now, I feel it—my world being split in two.
“Mia?”
“I’m not sure,” I finally answer. “I’ll check my schedule. Soon, I hope.”
“You’ll tell me about his appointments, right? I don’t want to miss any.”
“Of course.”
We don’t speak much for the rest of the ride. Van Morrison turns to Otis Redding, then Aretha Franklin, Sam Cooke, and so on. The entire drive, my mind races, my heart dreading getting to the airport. I don’t want to say goodbye to anyone. Unfortunately, I don’t have a pause button or a time machine, and before I know it, Leo’s pulling into a short-term parking spot.
He gets out to unload our luggage from the bed of his truck, and I help Benny out of his seat. It’s a routine all too familiar, and for the first time, I realize how much I hate it.
Benny says he’s too tired to walk, so Leo carries him on his shoulders while still dragging our suitcase behind him. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have a lot to say on the drive, and I wonder what’s going on in Leo’s head. Benny’s, too. Unlike Leo and me, Benny doesn’t hold back. “When am I going to see you again, Daddy?”
It’s not the first time he’s asked Leo this same question on this same walk, but it’s the first time he’s used the word daddy, and it kills me. Ruins me.
We find Dad and Tammy just outside the security gates, the same place they always are when we meet here. But something is different. Something is off, and I don’t know if it’s just me—but Tammy must feel it too. I can sense it the moment she looks at me. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she asks, approaching us.
Leo’s attention snaps to me. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know.” It takes everything in me not to burst into a sob. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Tammy eyes all three of us—all at once—and I don’t know how she does that. Then she settles a hand on my forearm and tells Leo, “We’ll be back.”
She leads me to a set of chairs hidden from view of the Kovács/Preston men, and Benny… Benny’s still a Kovács, and he shouldn’t be. He should be a Preston.
“Sit down, honey,” Tammy says. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
I stare at her, at the face of a woman who has always known too much, seen too much. Papa called her his angel, and she is. She’s always been there, guarding over me. Always. Her eyes search mine, switching from concern to… something else entirely. Her lips kick up at the corners, and she sighs, long and loud. “Oh, Mia,” she says, voice raspy with emotion. “You know… you’ve always been my little girl.” She pats her chest. “Since you were three years old. In here, you’ve always been mine. And I have both loved and hated watching you grow up. Which is what you are now, sweetheart. You’re all grown, and you can make your own choices—choices you think are best for you and Benny. Choices that will make you happy.”
She knows. Without me having to say a word, she knows.
“And as sure as the sun will rise, Mia, that man out there, Benny’s father—there’s only one man I’ve ever seen love as much and as hard as he does. And that’s your papa.”
I physically can’t stop crying as we make our way back. Three generations of a family stand before me, their expressions concerned as they take in my state. I can see that Leo wants to approach me, but he does what he’s always done. He waits for me. I stop in front of them, my focus on my father. “I’m sorry,” I cry out.
“Mia, what’s—” He breaks off when Tammy shakes her head, guiding him into letting me speak.
Through strained breaths, I add, “I don’t want you to feel like I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been everything I needed and more, and you’ve given me a life where I didn’t have to worry about a single thing besides raising my son. Your support for me has been limitless. These past five years…” I break off