Leo (Preston Brothers #3) - Jay McLean Page 0,200

I should put it back. I know I should, but I don’t. The words jump from the page, and when I look at the date scrawled at the top—the date I gave birth to our son—Leo’s written declaration of love fills all the holes in my heart, all the gaps in my memories.

Mia,

Before the crying and the yelling and the truth, there was everything.

There was you, a girl I’d been in love with since love was a choice, and you were naked and sitting on the edge of the bed. The morning sun filtered through the cracks of the blinds, and they made what parts of your irises I could see from your half-closed lids look like honey. Sweet.

Like you.

You were half asleep, and you asked me twice for the time. Your voice was rough from lack of use, but it was still soft, pure, perfect.

Like you.

I took my time dressing you, taking your ankles in my hands and slipping on your shorts, and when your hands landed on my shoulders to rise just a little so I could bring them over your hips, there was a moment.

One single, insignificant moment.

It surged through me like a blast of lightning right through my chest.

I envisioned a life with you, and it wasn’t because you were naked and you were mine. It was your hands on me. Depending on me to keep you grounded. Keep you safe. But help you rise. You didn’t notice that I stared at you then, and the visions I had weren’t blurred or hazy. They were clear and concise, and this, I thought to myself. This is what I want forever and a day.

A lifetime of single, insignificant moments.

I used to think of you as my sunrise, but in that moment, I realized you were the sun, the stars, the moon, the sky, the ground, and everything in between.

Before the crying and the yelling and the truth, there was you.

And you were everything.

Chapter Eighty-Seven

Mia

There are four composition notebooks in total, and I go through each one, my heart racing as I read the same words in various orders, various proses, but it’s all the same declaration. He’d written it so many times, as if it was that important to him, he had to make it perfect.

The last one he wrote was the one I read first.

He’d perfected it the day perfection was born.

A knock on the door startles me, pulling me from my reverie. Leo didn’t mention anyone stopping by, and so I hesitate a beat before the knocking begins again. “Mama? Is that you?” Benny calls from the top of the stairs.

“Someone’s at the door, buddy,” I say, opening it.

My heart drops to my feet when I see Lucas and Logan standing shoulder to shoulder. “Leo’s not here,” I manage to say before my throat closes in. I hate the sudden fear in my voice, the agony in my soul.

“Yeah, we know,” Lucas says. “Um… we were hoping to speak to you.”

I glance at Logan, whose looking down at his feet, his hand tapping at his pocket. I saw him doing it a couple of weeks ago, and I wonder what it means. What does any of this mean?

Lucas clears his throat. “Can we come in?”

I slam the door in their faces, my lungs filling with too much oxygen so fast that my body folds in half, and I have to hold on to the doorknob to keep upright.

“Who is it, Mama?” Benny asks, coming down the stairs.

“It’s, um…” I blow out a breath. “It’s…” Your uncles. I can’t even get the words out, but that’s who they are, and soon Benny will be old enough to work it out. With that in mind, I rush to open the door again, only to be greeted with their retreating backs. “Wait!” I call out and wait for them to turn to me. “I need a minute! Please.”

Logan’s eyes are wide as he nods, stating, “Take your time.”

I close the door just as Benny stops in front of me, head tilted as he watches me attempt to inhale. Exhale. Just breathe. “What’s wrong, Mama?”

“Nothing, baby.” I hold him to me, blinking back tears when his little arms wrap around me. “Mama just needed a recharge, that’s all.”

When he pulls back, his neck craned to look up at me, he smiles. “Are Leo’s brothers here to go on an adventure with me?” His eyes are wide, the joy and excitement filling them almost bringing me to my knees.

I know

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