run out of the room and into the one next to it. I open the door and flick on the light, and then I freeze. Benny gasps. “Whoa! Where are we, Mama?”
The room is painted blue, but not just one blue. There are flecks of different shades like we’re in outer space, and this is another planet, and… I run my finger along the irregular glittery swirls on the wall. It feels like… like—“It’s crushed rock,” Leo says, leaning against the doorframe.
“Leo!” Benny squeals, getting out of bed to hug him, but only for a second because this room—his room—is too… too… I don’t even know how to describe it. All the furniture is wooden. There’s a bed, desk, and three bookshelves. I glance at Leo. “Is this…” I trail off.
He nods. This is the furniture from his childhood bedroom.
Benny’s covers have a smooth pebble print, the same as his pillowcases. One of the bookshelves has books, the other is empty, and the third one displays all types of rocks and minerals with an overhead light on each shelf. Even the lamps are made of everything Benny loves. Benny’s walking from one spot to the next, his eyes wide, just like his smile as he gasps at every new thing he discovers.
“Leo,” I breathe out. “This is—”
“Is this my room?” Benny practically squeals, jumping on the bed.
“It is if you ever stay here,” Leo says, pushing off the frame. “I’m glad you like it, buddy.”
“I love it!” Benny says, wrapping his arms around Leo’s neck. “And I love youuuu!”
Leo chuckles. “I love you, too. And I missed you.”
“Me too!” He releases Leo to jump off the bed and inspect the mineral collection on his bookshelf. “I never want to leave!”
I move to Leo and nudge his side with my elbow. “That was your plan, wasn’t it?” I whisper.
Leo looks down at me, smiling sheepishly.
I roll my eyes. “Hey, Benny,” I call out, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Come here, buddy. Leo and I have something we want to tell you.”
Leo’s eyes widen. “Right now?” he mouths.
I shrug. “Why not?” I mouth back.
His grin is ridiculous. Benny stands in front of us, his eyes shifting between Leo and me. “So,” I start, and then stop because I never planned out exactly what I’d say.
“Sooo?” Benny sings, swinging his hips from side to side.
I lower my gaze, try to gather my thoughts. “So, do you remember when you asked me about your dad? And how I told you that he and Mama were very much in love and that your dad was a good man and that everything good… in you,” I say, tickling his belly. He squirms, and I add, “…came from your dad?”
Benny shakes his head. “I don’t remember.”
Well. There goes that. I sigh. And then I just tell him. “Benny, Leo’s your dad.”
Benny looks at Leo, who’s smiling so big his cheeks must ache with the force. Then Benny’s focus switches to me, his eyebrows pushed to the middle. “Like how Tammy’s going to be your mom?”
“No.” I shake my head.
Leo sighs, his shoulders deflating.
“I mean, like, he’s your dad.”
“No, he’s not,” Benny says. “He’s my Leo.”
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say. A beeping sounds from somewhere in the house, and Leo stands. “That’s my alarm. I have to get in the shower and go.” He drops a kiss on my forehead, then Benny’s, before leaving the room.
“Go play, buddy,” I tell Benny, before going after Leo.
He’s already in the master bathroom, switching on the shower. He turns to me, and I think I’m about to have to talk him down off a ledge, but then he barks out a guffaw, his head throwing back. “Why did we think that a four-year-old would even understand?!” he laughs out.
“I…” I shake my head.
“Like, what are we supposed to tell him?” he says, unable to quit chuckling. “That I blew a load so deep and powerful inside you that it broke through the condom, and nine months later boom, welcome to the world, Bennett!”
It starts as a giggle and then turns to all-out, silent, uncontrollable laughter that has me losing my breath. My eyes water as I hold on to my stomach, trying to relieve the ache.
Leo’s still laughing as he drops his boxer shorts and stands in front of me in all his naked glory. He gets under the stream, pours liquid soap on a loofa, and starts scrubbing himself clean. It’s such a