voice. In his presence. Even if it’s three hours away.
Baby steps.
As soon as the seatbelt light switches off, Benny’s fiddling with the straps and the buckles trying to get out. The kid does not like being contained. He’s a free spirit, Tammy says, like Holden and me when we were kids. Some days when she watched us, she was afraid to blink because we’d be there once second, gone the next, on our own little adventures wherever our little legs could take us. Luckily we had all the open land our hearts desired.
I release Benny from his seat, and he’s running toward his papa immediately. “I’m coming now!” While I wait for the cabin doors to open, I switch on my phone. Notification after notification goes off, filling the quiet with ding ding ding!
“Jesus, is your apartment on fire or something?” Dad mumbles, looking over my shoulder.
I wait for the alerts to stop pinging before I go through them. They’re all text messages. And they’re all from Leo.
Leo: You don’t know this because we haven’t spoken, but it’s officially my first day tomorrow.
Leo: This entire journey into law enforcement started my junior year. Remember? It was that note you left me that made me want to do this. I guess, in a way, I did it because I thought it’d make you proud of me.
Leo: Stand for something or fall for everything, right?
Leo: You’ve been there every step of the way, Mia. Maybe not physically, but… you know what I mean.
Leo: And now it’s all over, and the real shit begins, and you’re not around. And I get it. I understand why you can’t be, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Because I wish you were here.
Leo: I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of freaking out right now.
Leo: I don’t know why I am, but I am.
Leo: I keep thinking about Benny.
Leo: And how this job is so much more than a job to me.
Leo: Like, I have a SON, and this world, this society we’re raising him in—it isn’t good enough for him. And I’m scared because I’m supposed to protect him from all the evil and injustice and abuse and the stuff with Logan.
Leo: Jesus Christ.
Leo: I don’t even know how I’m supposed to do all that when I couldn’t even protect you. And now I have to protect the world.
Leo: And I think about Benny and how sweet and innocent he is, and I don’t want anything or anyone to take that innocence away from him.
Leo: Now, I have to put on a uniform, and when I do, I become someone people rely on.
Leo: Why did I want to do this? No one should rely on me. No one.
Leo: I’m so fucking scared.
Leo: I’m sorry to dump all this on you. I know you have so much going on.
Leo: I’m so sorry.
Leo: I wish you were here, Mia. That’s all.
Leo: I wish you were here.
Chapter Eighty-Five
Mia
When we left the airport, the sun was just beginning to set. I grabbed a quick dinner for Benny and me on the road, and close to two hours later, I’m parking on the front lawn of the Preston house.
After looking behind me to a sleeping Benny in the backseat of my rental, I inhale a calming breath, hoping it will give me the courage I need. Raising my chin, I knock on the door. For a long moment, no one answers. I knock again. On the other side, I hear thumping, like rushed footsteps coming down the stairs. It’s Liam who answers, his twin right behind. They both share identical looks of shock when they see me, then glance at each other before coming back to me. “Mia.”
“Liam.” I nod once, then look behind him to his brother. “Lincoln.”
“How do you always get it right?” Liam asks.
I point to my forehead. “Hairlines.” Why the hell are we talking about this? “Is Leo home?” I ask, trying to look beyond them and into the house.
Lincoln’s shoulders lift with his shrug. “Probably.”
“Well… can you get him?”
“Wait,” Liam says, opening the door wider. “Leo doesn’t live here anymore.”
Now I’m the shocked one. “He moved out?”
Lincoln nods. “You didn’t know?”
“Obviously,” I mumble, fishing my phone from my pocket and opening the navigation. “Can I have his new address?”
For a long moment, no one speaks. I look up at them. Liam says, “We don’t know the address.”