emit. I don’t, of course, because that would be ludicrous. “So if Benjamin means that, what does Bennett mean?”
Her eyes meet mine again, gleaming with an emotion I can’t decipher. “Blessed.”
I suggest we order food to be delivered. Mia insists she orders ingredients to cook. I don’t stop her. While we wait for the delivery, we sit on the couch, and we continue the question game, back and forth, back and forth. The questions start light, reminiscent of old friends merely catching up on the years they’ve been apart... until she asks about college. “I got into NC State,” I tell her, and her smile is so broad and so unrestrained that, for a moment, I wish I could capture it and keep it forever.
“That’s what you wanted, right?”
I nod, drop my gaze.
“So did you graduate early, or…?”
“I dropped out midway through junior year.” I meet her eyes again. “There was some stuff that went on at home, and so I had to go back.” I shake my head. “I mean, I didn’t have to. I chose to.”
Her gaze searches mine. “Is everything okay?” she asks, and it’s the same look she gave me when I told her about Laney.
“Uh-huh.” I force a smile. “It will be.” I won’t tell her about Logan. It’s not my story to tell.
The food arrives, and Mia busies herself in the kitchen, refusing any of my help. We keep playing the game, only now, I’m asking all the questions. And she answers every one.
She tells me that she learned to cook by taking classes when cabin fever became too much after Benny was born. Tammy was the one who recommended she do it, and even though it was hard for her to be away from Benny after four months of being with him twenty-four-seven, it was a much-needed break. She enjoys cooking, especially since she has a mouth to feed other than hers. She hesitates to disclose that it also helps her mentally—being able to control what goes in her body, not just what comes out.
At the time, Tammy was somewhat living with them. When Mia was eight months pregnant, she started to panic about the actual labor and delivery, and she reached out to Tammy for help. Mia and her dad were already in New York at the time, living in his condo above a hotel. His girlfriend that she mentioned—the one who hated her—bailed on her dad when he finally put his daughter first.
For the few months after her grandpa died, her dad stayed with her at the farm and worked from there. “It wasn’t until…” Mia says, plating up a chicken and mushroom with a red sauce dish. “Until…” She looks up at me, sitting on the other side of the counter, my ears and eyes trained on her. I’ve consumed every word she’s said so far, and I don’t want her to stop. This—filling this gap in time is what I need from her, and now she’s locked up.
“Until what?” I urge. “You realized you were pregnant?”
Her eyes glaze with tears, and she blinks them away, setting my plate in front of me. I ignore the food and get off the stool to make my way over to her. Settling a hand on her shoulder, I bend down a little, so I can meet her eyes. “Until what, Mia? What happened?”
She looks up now, her eyes distant, empty. “My dad kicked down the bathroom door and found me passed out on the floor, lying in a pool of my own vomit,” she murmurs, voice straining with agony. “He called an ambulance, and they rushed me to the hospital. That’s how I found out.” Her entire body is tense, her breaths sharp like the edges of a knife piercing into my heart, making me weak. I try not to picture her in that state, physically and emotionally. Bile rises up my throat, and I swallow it down.
“Mia…” It’s all I can get out.
She steps back, away from my touch, and blinks hard. Just once. “There’s nothing wrong with him,” she states, finding strength from within.
“I’m not—”
“I know I made mistakes, Leo, and my biggest one was not taking care of myself when he was inside me, but I swear, there’s nothing wrong with him.” A single tear escapes, and she’s quick to wipe it away. “His delivery was quick and relatively painless, and he was the perfect baby. He rarely cried, and he slept through the night within weeks. He was