me up close. Not yet. Not when he can so easily compare me to the girls he’d just brought home.
“How are you?” he asks, and somehow, I find the courage to face him. Up close, it’s kind of ridiculous how handsome he is. He’s not built the same way the boys back home are. Guys like Holden are stocky from all the hard labor they do on their family farms. Leo’s tall, athletic, just the right amount of muscles for an almost fifteen-year-old. “Mia?” Even the way he speaks, the way he stands, has changed. He’s gained confidence over the past year.
And I’ve only grown more insecure.
“Good.” It’s all I can say. It’s also a complete lie.
He nods, looks over his shoulder. I follow his gaze to see Logan holding their front door open for the girls. “We’re about to go to the lake for a swim. You want to come with us?”
I almost laugh. Almost. It’s the absolute last thing I want to do. “No, I’m good.”
His eyes narrow, assessing. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I should probably unpack… maybe find my mom.”
Leo stands taller, his shoulders square as he looks up at me. “You haven’t seen her yet?”
I shake my head.
“But she knew you were coming today. She told us about it.”
I shrug.
“Did she know what time you were coming?”
“Uh-huh.”
His lips press tight, the muscles in his forearms contracting when he balls his fists. After a sigh, he asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to come? The water’s real nice.”
Me? In my swimsuit. In front of him. And those girls? I’d rather shoot myself in the head. “I’m sure.”
His mouth kicks up in one corner as he starts backing away. “So, tomorrow. Four thirty?” He’s smiling now, the kind of smile that releases all the tension in my shoulders. “Don’t keep me waiting, okay?”
It was easy to ignore Leo Preston’s presence when I could lock myself away in another house. But when he’s sitting beside me, 130 feet above the ground with nothing but silence and darkness around us, I feel him everywhere, amplified by the sound of his breathing and his watchful eyes on the side of my head.
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come back,” he finally says. I keep my gaze forward, trying not to give too much away.
“I didn’t really have a choice,” I reply. I was in two minds about returning. Holden was staying with his grandparents for the first two weeks of summer, and so there wasn’t a lot stopping me. But it was my grandpa—when he said, having no clue what my reality was, “Your mama would like you there, I’m sure.”
So for him, I’m here.
Because the truth would devastate him.
Leo’s silent a beat before asking, “So, you don’t want to be here?”
I heave out a sigh.
“Or is it me?” he questions. “You don’t want to be here with me?”
I press my lips together.
A scoff erupts from deep in his throat. “This is my spot, Mia, so if you want to be alone, you should probably—”
I start to get up, but he pushes a hand down on my leg, stopping me. “What the hell?” he snaps. “Why are you pissed at me?”
It’s been almost a year since we sat in this exact spot. A year since he wasn’t there to say goodbye the last time I left. A year since I’d written him a note to thank him for being there for me. I’d included my number. But he wasn’t there to accept it, and so I gave it to his dad and asked him to pass it on. I’d waited, day in, day out, for a phone call. A text. Anything to show that the time we shared meant something. He never made contact. And now he’s here, and he wants to act as though nothing has changed, that time hasn’t passed, that his lack of action hasn’t hurt me.
It was in my bedroom, with shaving cream on my legs, while Tammy showed me how to use a razor, that I felt comfortable enough to share my feelings with her. She looked at me, a sadness in her eyes that I felt to my core. Tammy let out a breath, her mind lost in her own memories. “He’s just a boy,” she said quietly, blinking back tears. “And you’re just a girl, Mia Mac. One day, you’ll look back, and you’ll realize that what your feeling now is heartache, and that heartache isn’t worth shit.” I wondered—not for the first