ago. Benny’s sitting on a rug in the field with a bucket full of rocks, his eyes wide, smiling as he shows me his latest finds. Leo stares at the picture—seconds, minutes. I don’t know how long. His thumb strokes over the glass of the screen, and when he finally looks away, he looks right at me, his eyes glazed. “Did you ever collect rocks?” he asks, and it’s such an odd question, it takes me a moment to comprehend.
“No.” I shake my head. “He just started doing it one day, and now he’s obsessed. He has this book of—”
“Rocks and minerals?”
I nod.
He looks back at the picture. “He has your eyes,” he says, and then quickly shuts off his phone and throws it back in the console. He sucks in a breath, his hands tight on the steering wheel.
I tell him, “I don’t expect anything from you, Leo. You don’t have to be a part of his life.”
“Mia...”
“Nobody knows you’re his father,” I say. “I mean, after yesterday, Tammy suspects something, but my dad doesn’t know. Holden is the only one, and he’s never said a word. It’s not like we’re struggling financially, so you can walk away without any guilt or shame…”
“I can’t walk away.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want you to feel like you need to be here, Leo.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he mutters, almost agitated.
I sigh, looking through the kitchen window at Benny standing on a stool at the island watching Dad use a knife. I ask, throwing caution to the wind, “Did you want to come in and meet him?”
Leo’s eyes meet mine again with emotion so heavy I wish I could decipher it. “I want to, Mia. So bad. But I don’t think I’m ready.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” I’m quick to say, to soothe. I start to get out, but the warmth of his palm on my forearm stops me.
“Can I call you?” Before I can respond, he adds, “I just… I’m going to need someone to talk to, and I don’t think I can bring this to my family yet, and I know I’m not making this easy, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” I frown, leave the door open, and settle back in the seat to face him. “This is a lot for you, Leo. You need time to process everything before you make any decisions.” And then I add, because I need to, “I’m sorry, too.”
He exhales, so long and slow, it’s as if he’s held his breath since the moment he found out. “Come here,” he says, tugging me to him. He holds me, his hand on the back of my head, and it’s a million fleeting emotions all wrapped in one embrace. “We’re going to be okay,” he says, kissing the top of my head. “I just need time.” He pulls away. “Will you give me that?”
I nod, and it takes everything in me not to kiss him like I did on our last goodbye, because: “I’ll give you forever, Leo.”
Chapter Sixty-One
Leo
I didn’t look at the time when I left Mia’s, so I don’t know how long it takes me to get here. I do know that I had to turn around at least four times because I couldn’t focus for shit. By the time I park the truck, the sun’s already set. I stand on the front porch, my hand raised to knock, but I hesitate. Because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. On the drive here, I’d run through the conversation in my head over and over. So many words flicked through my mind. Some were complete sentences. Some were explanations. Some were even apologies.
I suck in a breath, hold it. Then knock on the door. “It’s open!” my sister shouts, and so I open the door of her cabin. Some acres away, on the same property, is the main house, where Dad is, and I’m way too scared to face him just yet. He’s going to look at me beaming, proud that I made it through the first week of the academy unscathed, and he won’t even realize that of all his kids—I’ll be his biggest disappointment.
Cameron, Lucy’s husband, is on the floor of their living room, holding their daughter in the air and making airplane noises as he swings her from side to side. He’s still in his suit from work, his tie loose around his neck. Lucy is beside him,