Slowly, effortlessly, his lips kick up at one corner, and he raises his hand in a small wave. I take a breath, cross my arms, and then I move, keep my head lowered. I stop a safe distance away from him. “Hey.” One word. A million questions.
“Hey,” he says, and then silence screams at me. I look up, see his eyes on mine. It physically hurts to look at him. And it’s not painful, because pain isn’t what I think about when I think of him. It’s… longing. And it’s pathetic. “I’m sorry to drop in on you like this,” he says, and he tries to look away, but he keeps coming back to me. “I, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I got you this.”
It’s only now I realize he’s been holding on to a stack of papers, and he’s holding them out between us waiting for me to take them. Which I do. Eventually. “What is this?” I ask, and it’s only a second later that I work it out. A gasp catches in my throat as I flip through the divorce papers, seeing my mom’s signature on all the appropriate lines.
“It’s all signed. I made sure before I left.”
My eyes trail to his, awestruck. “How… I mean… why? How?”
Leo’s shrug is lazy, as if it’s no big deal. He massages the back of his neck, his head down, but his eyes up. On me. “So… you can leave now, right?”
My mouth opens to respond, but nothing comes, and everything hits at once. He didn’t do this for me. He just doesn’t want me around. His town, his home. I bet seeing me with his sister must’ve done a number on him. I don’t even have it in me to respond verbally, and so I take a step back, hoping my hurt doesn’t show. “I’ll be gone in the morning.” It’s barely a whisper, and I hate my vocal cords for deceiving me.
“No.” His eyes widen, and he reaches for me, his hand on my elbow. I look down at the touch, but by the time my eyes are there, his hand is gone. “That’s not what I meant, Mia. Shit. I just meant that it can’t be easy for you—being here, so…” My gaze meets his again. “I read about it,” he says, and he can’t hide his pain either. “About the—your—disease.” He cringes at the last word as if he doesn’t know if it’s appropriate. “I read that certain things can trigger—” He breaks off, rolling his eyes. “I just don’t want you to have to deal with anything… bad.”
I stare at him. It’s all I can do. But the longer I stare, the less vivid he becomes.
“God dammit,” he spits, taking a step closer. “Please don’t cry.”
I didn’t realize I was, but of course, I am, because I am Me, and he is Him, and there will always be something between us. I wipe at my tears before they fall and find enough grace to keep my eyes on his when I croak, “Thank you.” I lift the papers. “For this. It means more than you know.”
He nods at this, shuffling his feet. Hands shoved in his pockets, he looks around, no doubt for a way out. “So… your dad’s getting remarried?”
“Yeah, he is.”
“And he’s good to you, like… you know what I mean…”
I smile, for real, and nod once. And come to terms with the fact that Leo Preston is always going to care about me, even if it’s based on history alone, and it goes both ways. “So… you’re going into the academy?” I ask.
His grin is slight, but it’s there, and I can see the moment his shoulders relax. “Yeah, I leave tomorrow, actually.”
“Well, I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m happy for you, and I’m…” This time, I say it loud and clear. “I’m proud of you, Leo. I know how hard you worked to get there, so…”
He laughs once, but it’s not from humor. It’s something else. “You’re wrong, about it not meaning much. It means everything, Mia.” His voice cracks on the last few words, and he sniffs once, biting back an emotion I can’t decipher. “Hey, I wanted to ask you when I saw you, but I was kind of…” I get it. When I first saw him, I was kind of… too. “How’s your grandpa these days?”
Whatever physical reaction I have gives him pause, makes his eyes widen, and then