Mr. Preston shares some pleasantries with his sister, who rode with us here, and then my mother, and I shrink further into my shell when I feel his eyes on me. The last time we’d seen each other, it wasn’t exactly pleasant. Shame washes through every cell of my being as he says my name, a softness in his tone that lets me know he, too, remembers. It’d be hard to forget. “Wow, Mia,” he breathes out, “look at you. It’s been a long time.”
Next to me, Mom nudges my side and clears her throat, and I gather my courage, look up at him. It seems he hasn’t aged a day. I force a smile, a nod. “Hi, Mr. Preston, it’s uh… it’s good to see you again.”
He returns my smile with one of his own, and it’s as genuine as he’s always been. “You look...” He stops there, unsure of what to say.
I would be, too.
I look what? Older? Wiser? Sane?
“You look great,” he says, snapping his head forward, acknowledging the end of that conversation. He takes a step back, his large frame somehow making me feel smaller than I did the first time I met him.
“Kids!” he calls out over his shoulder. “You have visitors!” He doesn’t take his eyes off me, his gaze scrutinizing, no doubt wondering why I’m here. I wish I could click my fingers and a giant neon sign would light up above my mother’s head with the word “HER” flashing in bright red.
She is the reason.
She is my demise.
Mr. Preston sighs, finally tearing his penetrating stare away from me and toward the staircase behind him. “I’ll go get them.”
I almost reach out to stop him.
Almost.
“You’re being rude,” Mom hisses as soon as Mr. Preston is out of earshot.
My eyes drift shut. I can feel the frustration building inside of me. “I’ve barely said two words.”
“It’s not what you’re saying, Mia. It’s how you’re behaving.”
“How do you want me to—”
“Act like you want to be here!” she cuts in.
My jaw snaps shut, my nostrils flaring with my heavy exhale. A house this big, you’d think it would be impossible for the walls to close in and suffocate you, yet here I stand, breathless.
Laughter fills the air, trailing from somewhere upstairs—a complete contrast to everything I’m feeling—and I’m suddenly reminded of how many of them there are. And then thudding, like what I imagine a herd of elephants stomping on dry desert land sounds like. But the Prestons aren’t animals, I remind myself—they’re just kids…
Or at least, they were.
It’s been almost eight years since I’d seen them, and as they file down the stairs one by one, all dressed in suits, I recognize each of them by name. While it’s obvious they’re all siblings, they all have distinct features. Even the twins. They’re taller now, the boys more masculine and grown-up. Lucy and Cameron are the first to appear with the birthday girl. And then Lucas, the oldest boy, clutching hands with Laney. It’s good to know they’re still together. I guess some loves are made to withstand the harshness of reality. Next is Logan, a couple of years younger than Leo. He’s carrying a red-haired girl on his back, and then the twins. The only one I don’t recognize offhand is Lachlan. He was a toddler when I last saw him, and now… now he’d be a teenager. Jesus.
The last to appear is Leo.
I lower my gaze quickly, not wanting to look long enough for the pain to arise. Or hard enough for that same pain to annihilate me.
“You guys remember Mia,” Mr. Preston says.
The thudding has stopped now, and a chorus of “Hey, what’s up,” fills my ears. Mom elbows my side, and so, grinding my teeth, I look up. There are too many sets of eyes all focused on me. But I’m only drawn to one.
And those eyes—they make me want to shed my flesh, leave my beating heart where we once stood under a sheath of empty promises. Because while eight years have passed since I’ve seen the others, it’s only been five since I’ve seen Leo.
Five years can change a person.
It’s sure changed me.
But, going by the way Leo’s looking at me, confusion mixed with disdain, five years isn’t enough.
Chapter Fifty-Four
Mia
My mother ignores me, which is nothing new. Her friend, Leo’s aunt Leslee, let slip that Mom is currently on vacation, and she’s spending the entire week with Leslee, which means that if I don’t