agree. But I didn’t say that he liked you. He loved you, and there is a difference. You don’t have to like someone that you love.”
“Oh. Well, thank you for telling me.”
“I’m not done, Keither. He thought you were lazy and stubborn beyond reason. He didn’t like you because you are throwing your life away, a life that he would have liked to have. You make no attempt to hone your skills, barring trying to prove people wrong. You also refuse to grow as a person.”
There was a lump in Keither’s throat at this. He wasn’t ready for this news. Keither knew it was hurting Legon to say this. The man had taken his pain for a short time; there was no way causing more would feel good.
“Is there more?” Keither asked
Legon started again. “Yes. He was convinced that you hated him. That was what he thought at the end, but he was willing to do what it took to give you a shot. Keither, I’m sorry, I know this was not what you wanted to hear, but remember he and I both think that you are capable of great things if you try.”
Legon gestured with his head at where Sara slept. “And she does as well.”
Legon was telling the truth, and that’s what stung the most. Keither’s brother was a hero, but he was… “A lump of lard,” he thought.
Legon spoke, not needing to read his mind. “But it is a choice, know that. You choose what you are. Make sure it’s a choice that you will not regret on your death bed.”
“Ok, I will,” was the only response he had.
“Now,” Legon said flatly.
“What? Why now? Can’t I think about what I want to be?”
“I’m not talking about a trade or where to live. Decide who you are to be now so when presented with obstacles in life you have already chosen what to do. Not choosing is a choice. You have thought long enough. I will support you in whatever choice you make.”
Keither knew that was a true statement. Legon would take the mantle of older brother, but unlike Kovos, he would not make decisions for him. Keither looked down, thinking. He wasn’t unhappy with his life; he was content. He looked over at Sara. To him she was the embodiment of a different future whether she chose him or not. That path would have lots of pain in it, and sorrow; his current path would not.
“My current path is easier and will mean less suffering in this life…”
“But it will also mean less happiness as well. Life is a balance. Your capacity to do good is only as strong as your ability to do evil, remember that.”
He had a point. Keither was content with life but that was it. He wasn’t all that happy or sad. This little adventure of theirs made him feel more alive than he ever had. Still, he didn’t want the suffering. He looked at the sleeping form of Sara almost as if it would tell him what to do, and in a way it did. This was going to be wonderfully horrible, he thought. It was his choice of what he did with this life. He may have the potential to do bad things, but he didn’t have to choose them. He could still choose the good. A shiver ran down his spine as the thought of what his true potential might be and, more important, the road that it would take him down.
“I will be a real person. I will be what I was meant to be.” It sounded odd for him to say, it sounded pompous and arrogant, but at least he was trying.
* * * * *
Legon was looking intently at the boy, wondering if he would choose to be a man or remain a boy. It tore at him to hurt Keither, but he was to take Kovos’ place, a job he took very seriously. It was cruel of him to tell Keither the truth of Kovos’ and his thoughts; you were supposed to say that someone loved and cared for you and that they were proud, yet this was a lie. But if Keither chose to be something then this night would be a reminder for him in dark times, a defining moment. Conversely, if he chose not to move then this would haunt him for life and there might be no chance at convincing him again.
Was this his place? He purpose was to restore, right? But