“Not really. The whole time I was there, I couldn’t wait to get back.”
She didn’t have to know him well at all to see the sadness that came over him when he mentioned his nana. He tried to hide it. He did it well. But even if it was only a split-second faltering in his expression or the briefest flicker of grief in his eyes, she caught it. She honestly didn’t know how he was putting up such an amazing front. Laughing with her, flirting and talking dirty… Was he only trying to forget what was going on one state to the north?
His right hand was resting on the gearshift. Macy reached over and placed hers on top of it. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?”
He was a long time answering. She watched his throat muscles constrict as he swallowed. “It’s bad.”
“I’m so sorry. We don’t even—”
“No, stop right there. The thing about Nana is she’s more full of life than anyone I’ve ever known. And so genuinely good. To leave the life she’d made, and move down here to take care of us when she was grieving too… I don’t know that I could do it, you know? I can just hear her in my head telling me not to worry about her, to go on living. It isn’t that I don’t worry about her, but… Oh, shit.” He rubbed his eyes hard with his thumb and forefinger.
“What? Please tell me.”
His discomfort was palpable. He rubbed the back of his neck, checked the mirrors unnecessarily. She began to think he wasn’t going to answer, and she would have to accept that. But then he surprised her. “A few months back, she was having a good day, and I told her all about you. I have a picture on my phone I took of me and you when we were goofing around back when we first started hanging out, remember? The one where we’re making stupid faces. She looked at it, and then looked at me and asked me what in the hell I was doing there talking to her when I should be here chasing after you. That’s the kind of person she is. She really means it.” He hit the blinker and sighed. “That’s one of the last lucid conversations we had. All about you.”
Macy gazed at his profile in such silent amazement, she hardly noticed when he pulled into a driveway and braked to a halt. Once he’d shifted into park, he reclaimed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I can’t say that’s what I came back for, though. My sister encouraged me to go home for a while, and I felt like I needed to check on things around the house, see my friends, get back to my music, just be. But I’ve thought it’s pretty damn funny the way things work out. If you knew Nana, you’d know she almost always gets her way.” He brought her hand up, brushing her knuckles with his lips. “Here I am, chasing after you.”
She opened her mouth, but the words weren’t there. Whether it was terror or elation that held them captive, she didn’t know.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Oh God. Warmth pricked the back of her eyes, and she wanted to run. Wanted to stay. Because his lips were warm and full and wonderful, and she wanted them all over her body. Right now.
She lunged for him, and the voluptuousness of his mouth on hers sent her stomach into a free fall. It wasn’t unlike the dizzying high of riding full gallop, and she hadn’t allowed herself to do that in so very long…
Gasping for air, she pulled back, her heart slamming in her chest.
“What’s the matter?” he breathed, leaning in and trying to recapture her. She let him, unable to resist. Just like the first night, just like every night they’d been together since. Unable to resist. Knowing she should. Helpless whimpers escaped her throat. His tongue slipped into her mouth. He let go of her hand, and she wrapped her arms around his neck while he smoothed his hand up her ribs and found her breast, squeezing gently through her layers of clothing.
Why did her body have to respond like this to him? Why couldn’t it have craved Jared’s touch this much? She never would have left if it had. Under Seth’s hands, she came alive. She unfurled, smoothed out, blossomed. He felt so right, even when everything else was so wrong.