Love had nothing to do with it. She’d go to her grave loving him. She quivered like a blade of grass shaken by the wind. “It’s not right. Too many things are spinning around in my head.”
He drew her close, and she heard the dance of his heart. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” He brushed his finger across her lips and traced her mouth. “If I could only say the words for you.”
Casey touched the finger resting against her lips. She refused to agree to marriage with her own life in such turmoil. “I love you, Morgan, but I can’t be your wife until we’ve had time to work through the ugliness of our lives.” She hesitated before speaking again and waited for his reaction, to see whether it was a display of temper or control.
“I understand more than you might believe,” he said. “Trust is what we’re talking about here.”
“And I must clear my name and take whatever punishment a judge decides.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think there’s a judge anywhere who would find you guilty. You and I both know the warrants for your arrest are fictitious. The law has no evidence, only newspaper reports.” He played with each of her fingers, then grasped her hand gently.
“I must prove my innocence of all those charges and confess to the shooting in Billings.”
“Casey, you’re innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around. I’ve seen those warrants. Some are alleged crimes that happened in another part of the country after you left Jenkins—while you were here.”
Casey touched his cheek, searching his eyes for some type of understanding. He must see the reality of their lives. “I watched Jenkins and his men rob that land office in Billings. I held the horses. I shot a man—a good man who was only trying to protect what was his. I don’t know if he lived or died.”
“You wounded him. Remember, I saw the whole thing.”
She wondered if he spoke the truth. “No matter. I was barely fourteen, stupid, didn’t really see what was happening there. But the fact is I still shot him while breaking the law. One of these days, a federal marshal will show up in Kahlerville and arrest me, or maybe Ben Kahler will put it all together. We’ve talked about this before. Do you want your family to face that humiliation? And what of Jenkins? Do you think he’s given up finding me?”
He sighed deeply. “I can help you. You won’t ever be free—whether to marry me or to live your life without fear—unless this is done.”
She shrugged. “I’ve thought a lot about what to do. I know the location of some of the outlaw hideouts, which might help my defense. I know the names they use in various parts of the country. Is it possible to trade information for a lesser charge?”
“It would look favorable in your behalf, but unless it’s handled properly, your life won’t be worth a nickel.” His words sounded flat, distant.
“I’ve considered all those things and twisted the outcome over and over in my mind. I really think I could help the law find some of them.”
“And what about Jenkins?” His jaw tightened.
She hesitated. Satan took the form of Jenkins every time she thought about him. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll deal with him when the time comes.” She thought about the outlaw’s threats. “There was a time I probably could have ridden away, and he wouldn’t have cared.”
“But what you’re proposing is too dangerous.”
“I can’t hide forever. Besides, too many people know who I am. It puts all of you in terrible danger. Now your whole family will be a part of this. We haven’t even discussed their feelings. Jocelyn and Bonnie will have a difficult time with the truth. Morgan, I knowingly deceived them. They trusted me, and I deceived them.”
He gently grasped her shoulders. “Honey, Grant would have been right back up here if Mama and Bonnie were upset.”
Casey stood and reached for matches to light the kerosene lamp. Glancing into the mirror over her dresser, she smoothed her dress and tried to straighten her disheveled hair. Her eyes were red and puffy. She detested looking so unkempt. Weak.
“I want to talk to your mother and Bonnie,” she said. “We’ve been too close for me to allow Grant to handle this. I may be ashamed of the things Casey O’Hare has done, but I’m not too proud to admit I’ve been wrong in