“Nothing’s as important as getting right with God.”
Morgan stopped. “I’d like to believe that.”
“Are you running from the law?”
“No.”
“Then you must be running from God. Best you take care of it here and now.”
Morgan didn’t like the preacher’s cocky attitude. He preferred a man of God who wasn’t so pushy.
“I’ve made you mad,” the preacher said. “Good. We’re getting somewhere. As a believer—and I think you are—you can’t run anywhere that God won’t find you. In the worst of places, He’ll show up and surprise you.”
“And if a man is angry about something God’s done?” Morgan said.
“God doesn’t get involved with evil. We have plenty of that around us.” The preacher held up his hands. “I know what you’re going to say. God has the power to stop anything. Mister, whatever’s eating at you will destroy you. The only answer is to turn back to God. He’s allowed something to happen in your life, something you can’t push aside. Understand the good is from God, and evil is from the devil. And for some things, we won’t have the answers till Judgment Day.”
“It’s complicated.” Morgan swallowed hard. His knees weakened, and he desperately wanted to leave.
“Complicated for us, but not for Him.”
Morgan stopped in the middle of the aisle and met the young preacher eye to eye. The color of his gaze was dark, nearly black, like Morgan felt. The simple words spoken by the man of God had been said before but never with such clarity. Or maybe he finally heard. Some things we won’t have the answers for till judgment day.
“Give Him the problem. You don’t have to carry it,” the preacher said.
Living with the guilt and hate had turned Morgan’s heart into stone.
“Would you like for me to pray with you?”
The preacher was the unlikeliest person for Morgan to turn to for advice—not to mention prayer. “I’ll be thinking on it.” He brushed past the man to the door.
The preacher chuckled. “Doesn’t make any sense to me why a man would want to go on bein’ miserable when he has a chance to find peace.”
Morgan’s hand touched the door. Sunshine burst ahead of him, but behind him were shadows—always shadows loomed behind him. Wasn’t this why he’d ridden for days? Cried like a child and begged for a sign? Had he grown so hard that hunting down Jenkins meant more than life? More than finding Casey? More than the God of his youth? He wanted to cover his ears and stop the agony raging through his soul, but the questions came from his heart.
He whirled back around and made the trek down the aisle, past the preacher, to the altar.
Chapter 10
Morgan stayed in Houston with the preacher for nearly a month. For once, he wasn’t planning how to kill Jenkins. No longer tormented by a voracious need to find the outlaw, he helped out at the small church and reflected upon the past four years. Doing things for others made him happy, and he caught himself laughing, really laughing. This had to be real peace.
With a freedom in his soul not evident in years, Morgan realized his hate-fueled vendetta never would have been satisfied by killing Jenkins. The loathing for the outlaw had given him a reason to get up every morning. If Jenkins had been killed, Morgan would no longer have had a reason to live. His demons never would have let him go. The preacher helped him face the truth about himself and seek forgiveness. What happened four years ago was not his fault, but he could help Casey escape the same fate. The pain of regret left him determined to be a different man. He’d treated his family and God shamefully. Surely the future held more than the past.
Now he understood how Casey must feel—her longing for a free life gave her strength. He no longer concerned himself to why they’d met or even why the attraction. Its frail beginnings felt warm and almost forbidden. The thought shook him to his toes. Perhaps his need to help her stemmed from the same desire to live for tomorrow and discard the filth from yesterday. If so, that was enough.
I’ve become a philosopher. Must have been the coming-to-Jesus meeting with the preacher. Morgan prayed the insight would also give him wisdom.
He set his sights on finding Casey, but first he needed reconciliation with his family. After a week, he posted a letter to his mother that he’d be home soon and had much to tell