A couple guys in the middle seats rolled their eyes and looked down at the floor. Bailey pressed on. “I know … that might sound strange to you. But I have to take this chance … I’m not willing to disobey God this time.”
“We don’t need a sermon,” one of the guys at the end of the middle aisle called out to Francesca. He threw his arms in the air, disgusted. “This is Chrissy’s memorial, not church.”
Bailey expected that would be the end of her moment on stage, and that Francesca would hurry her back to her seat. But the director only shook her head, her face masked in a peace that she had never once displayed before this. “Bailey may continue. Keep in mind these are her opinions, her feelings. And she’s entitled to them.” She glanced around the room. “That’s what a memorial is. A chance to share our thoughts and feelings.”
The guy who had shouted out slumped down in his seat, clearly disgusted.
Bailey hesitated, practically paralyzed with fear. They hate me, God …
When you go to war against your enemies …
The verse played in her mind one more time and she felt herself grow stronger. “Anyway … in honor of Chrissy, I’m starting a Bible study. We’ll meet Friday mornings in the rehearsal space.” She looked at Francesca. “I’ve already secured it.” Her heartbeat was so loud it was distracting. “I’d like permission to hold the first Bible study here … when we’re dismissed … for whomever would like to stay.”
Francesca had the right to say no, and clearly she was considering making such a pronouncement. But instead she stood, her expression slightly favorable. “Tell everyone what you mean, Bailey. A Bible study … what would that look like?”
Adrenaline surged through her … God was moving walls, opening doors. She blinked, trying to stay focused. “No one has to know all that much.” She shrugged. “I don’t know that much.” She held up her Bible. “We can look at Scripture by topic … addiction … loneliness … rejection. Just see what the Bible says and then … you know, talk about it.”
“This is ridiculous.” It was the same guy who had shouted out before. “Francesca, you can’t be serious.”
“You don’t have to attend.” The director’s answer was sharp, pointed. “This is something Bailey wants to do in honor of Chrissy.” She gave a single nod. “I’m going to allow that.”
A burst of sunlight exploded across Bailey’s fearful, anguished soul. God had pushed her up here on stage, and now He had done just what He’d promised. He had delivered her from her enemies. At least for now. She thanked them for listening, and explained that at the end, she’d wait for anyone who wanted to stay.
Francesca closed them with a sweet story about Chrissy, how she had been so nervous her first day with the cast that she had found Francesca and asked for something unconventional, something no other dancer had ever asked for before or since. Francesca’s eyes glistened. “She asked me for a hug.” The director smiled, fighting her tears. “She always got a hug from her mom on the first day of school … and working here with all of us … it felt like a classroom to Chrissy.” Francesca smiled at Bailey and then at the others. A tear slid down her cheek. “So I hugged her. Like she was my own daughter, I hugged her.” A slight sob shook the director’s composure, and her smile faded. “I will remember that hug … and I will miss her.”
Bailey wondered if Francesca blamed herself for not taking action regarding Chrissy’s anorexia. So far the director hadn’t said anything to Bailey about it, but several times Bailey remembered Francesca’s admonition the day of Chrissy’s death. The girl’s anorexia was being dealt with. Bailey should mind her own business.
Watching Francesca now, Bailey was almost certain the director regretted her attitude that day.
The memorial was over and most of the cast filed out in groups of twos or threes, several of them whispering among themselves. Bailey stayed seated, her eyes on her Bible. They were whispering about her, she was sure. She even heard her name from a few of them as they left. But she didn’t look up, didn’t want to see the fact that not one person was likely to join her in reading the Bible.
They don’t care, God … You had me go out on a limb up there, and for what?