Leah's Hero - Miranda Martin Page 0,3

nice, dark box. Lock the door behind me as I leave it.

Visualizing myself going through the motions helps. The nausea passes, leaving me cold and feeling desperate. It’s all hopeless. I’m hopeless.

Rolling onto my side I stare at the outline of Allie sleeping. I watch her chest rise and fall until I’m sure she’s asleep. Then I slide my hand under my pillow and pull out the leather-bound package. Careful to stay quiet, I open it, pull out a handful of dried fruit and pop it into my mouth, rewrap the package, and slide it back under my pillow.

Allie stirs and sits up, yawning as she stretches. I swallow the mouthful of food quickly before I roll onto my back. Relief that she’s waking up tinged with trepidation that she’s waking up because I kept her up or she heard me chewing. The room is less dark, so it must be morning.

Less dark. What a thought. It’s not dim, it’s not brightening. Nope! In my head, it’s less dark. I’m such a pessimist. Ugh.

“Morning,” Allie says, climbing to her feet, rotating her hips, and stretching her back. A series of cracks echoes off the walls of our small room. “Ouch.”

“Bad?” I ask.

My stomach clenches as her eyes pass over me. Did she pause on my pillow? Does she know about my secret stash?

“I hate sleeping like this. I miss my mattress,” she says.

“Me too,” I agree, sitting up.

I let go the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. She doesn’t know or she’s not calling me out.

“Did you sleep at all?” she asks, kneeling next to me.

“Some,” I say, not entirely a lie.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

I force a smile. What else can I offer her? Thanks? For what? That I’ve become such a burden on her now, not only is she lacking in sleep, she’s having to feel sorry for me too? I didn’t think I could feel any worse than I do, but yup, here it is. I’m worse. I’m the worst.

“Don’t,” I say. “Please.”

The room is too dark for me to see her face but there’s enough light filtering through for me to read what’s happening. She frowns and I know the rest. She hates me even more, but she’ll never admit it. When there’s only eleven survivors of your entire race, it pushes you to be more tolerant than you would normally be.

“We should go get breakfast and look at what we have to do for the day,” Allie says, rising to her feet.

She squeezes my shoulder then opens the door to our room. The light is brighter now, coming through the open door. When I force myself to my feet, I feel the weight of the entire universe, pushing me down. Part way up I consider, for an instant, lying back down and waiting for an end.

That’s not me, but that instant is undeniable.

I stretch my back and arms then follow Allie out to the common room that serves as our central gathering area and dining hall. Every step is an effort of will. My feet are heavy. Or maybe it’s the weight on my shoulders.

I stare at the floor and will myself to take the next step, then the next, and the next. Allie is talking, but I can’t spare the attention to listen. The wall of the hallway though, something about it is distracting. Finally I stop and stare, focusing on it. Allie comes to a stop and turns around.

“What is it?” she asks.

“Is that water stains?” I ask, pointing at the wall.

Allie walks over and crouches down. She touches the wall then runs her hand up it.

“If it is...” she trails off frowning. “Then the water got really high at one point. See this line here? That looks like staining too.”

“Yeah,” I say, craning my neck up to where she is pointing.

It’s close to the ceiling. If the water got that high, we’d be in trouble. Some part of my mind hangs onto this, and it feels like something I should be concerned about, but I don’t have the energy for it.

“We should go,” I sigh, giving in to the despair and futility that all of life seems to be.

“Yeah,” Allie says, still staring at the wall.

She purses her lips then shakes her head and leads the way to breakfast. We emerge from our hall together, and the others are already mostly gathered. Riley and Ziva are chattering away together, talking in a mix of Common and Zmaj.

I know enough Zmaj to pick