I met his eyes and wanted to lie, to save his feelings, but those kinds of lies hurt more than the truth. "Yeah."
"Yet, you have not made your choice. You have not told me to leave the two of you to matrimonial bliss. Why is that?"
"Last time we had this talk, you said you'd kill Richard."
"If that is all that is stopping you, ma petite, have no fear. I will not kill Richard merely because you go to his bed and not mine."
"Since when?" I asked.
"When I threw my support to Richard, Marcus became my enemy. That cannot be changed." He leaned his shoulder against the dark wooden bedpost closest to me. "I had thought to petition another pack. There is always an ambitious alpha male out there somewhere. Someone who would like his own pack but either through sentimentality or lack of strength is doomed to play second forever. I could kill Richard and bring someone else in to kill Marcus."
I listened to his plan told so matter-of-factly. "What changed your mind?"
"You."
"Come again?"
"You love him, ma petite. You truly love him. His death would destroy something inside of you. When Julianna died, I thought I would never feel for anyone again. And I didn't, until I met you."
"You won't kill Richard because it would hurt me?"
"Oui."
"So I could tell Richard when he gets here that I've chosen him, and you would let us go off, get married, whatever?"
"Isn't there one hurdle to your marriage besides myself?" he asked.
"What?"
"You must see him change into wolf form." Jean-Claude smiled and shook his head. "If Richard was human, you would meet at the door with a smile and a yes. But you fear what he is. He is not human enough for you, ma petite."
"He isn't human enough for himself," I said.
Jean-Claude raised his eyebrows. "Yes, Richard runs from his beast, as you have run from me. But Richard shares a body with his beast. He cannot outrun it."
"I know that."
"Richard is still running, ma petite. And you run with him. If you were secure that you could accept him, all of him, you would have done it by now."
"He keeps finding excuses not to change for me."
"He fears your reaction," Jean-Claude said.
"It's more than that," I said. "If I can embrace his beast, I'm not sure he'll be able to accept me."
Jean-Claude cocked his head to one side. "I do not understand."
"He hates what he is so badly. I think if I can accept his beast, he won't... he won't love me anymore."
"Being able to embrace his beast would make you what... perverse?"
I nodded. "I think so."
"You are trapped on the horns of a nasty dilemma, ma petite. He will not make love to you or marry you until you have seen and accepted his beast. Yet if you accept it, you fear he will turn from you."
"Yeah."
He shook his head. "Only you could choose two men in one human lifetime that are this confusing."