“So you would rather be Aunt Andais to Essus’s grandchildren than queen of all?”
She seemed to think about it for a moment or two, and then she nodded. “Yes, to see my bloodline continue, to have three descendants of our line who are already displaying such power, for that I would step down.”
It wasn’t just descendants, but powerful, magical descendants. She’d already seen the lightning mark on Gwenwyfar’s arm and watched it spark at Mistral’s touch. Alastair had displayed no overt talent as the girls had done, but she seemed willing to take it for granted that he, too, would be powerful. If any of our children proved without magic, by her standards, she would still see them as useless, as not worthy, as she’d decided with me when I turned six and she tried to drown me.
Eamon laid his hand over hers, cautiously. “But, my beloved, it’s more than stepping down from the throne; Meredith and her consorts want to feel safe around you, and at this moment, they do not.”
“They should not. I am the Queen of Air and Darkness, ruler of the Unseelie Court. The fact that people fear me is part of the point, Eamon; you know that.”
“For ruling our court, perhaps, and for keeping the Golden Court in check, absolutely, but my love, perhaps being frightening is not the best way to be Great-Aunt Andais.”
She frowned at him as if she didn’t understand the words, The words made sense, she could hear them, but I wasn’t certain she could grasp their meaning.
She finally said out loud, “I don’t understand what you mean, Eamon.”
He tried to pull her into his arms as he said, “I know you do not, my love.”
She pushed away from him. “Then explain it to me, so I will understand.”
“Aunt Andais,” I said.
She looked at me, still frowning, still not understanding.
“Do you regret the loss of Tyler?”
“I said so, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
“Then what are you talking about, Meredith?”
“Will you regret not being Aunt Andais to our children?”
“I am their aunt, Meredith; you cannot change that.”
“Perhaps not, but I can decide whether you are aunt in name only, or whether you actually have a place in their lives so they know who you are in a pleasant way; or will you be on the list of people that we warn them about? Do you want to be a bogeyman to your nieces and nephew? If you see your Aunt Andais, run. If she comes for you, call for help, fight back. Is that the legacy you want in their lives?”
“They could not fight me and win, Meredith; even you could not.”
“And that is not the point of what I said; the fact that you think it is means you are not welcome here.”
“Do not make me your enemy, Meredith.”
“Then apologize, Aunt Andais.”
“For what?”
“For reminding Frost of past pain, for trying to frighten Kitto, for every threat, every hint of pain and violence you’ve spoken since this conversation began.”
“A queen does not apologize, Meredith.”
“But an aunt does.”
She blinked at me. “Ah,” she said, “you want me to be some cheerful relative that comes with gifts and smiles.”
“Yes,” I said.
She smiled, but it was an unpleasant one, as if she’d tasted something bitter. “You want me to be other than I am around your children?”