“No, but who knows what might send her into a flashback? Anita, she may seem all gentle with you, but when she’s working out in the gym she’s wicked fast and stronger than that body looks; if she could get over the issues her old master beat into her she would be one of the most efficient killing machines I’ve ever seen.”
I blinked at him. “Jade?”
“She doesn’t work out in front of you to the best of her ability, Anita. I think that goes back to her old master not liking that maybe she was faster or better at some of the fighting skills than he was; I think she doesn’t want to show you up.”
“She’s a weretiger, Jason; she’s supposed to be faster and stronger than I am.”
“You know that, but she sure as hell isn’t comfortable with you seeing her in the gym. Haven’t you noticed that she never works out when you’re there unless forced?”
I thought about it, and then said, “Is that why she sucks at hand to hand and most weapons practice, because I’m always there?”
“I think so, because when you’re not in the weight room, or the track, or . . . she works a heavy bag over like she’d make a person into so much meat, real quick.”
“Have you seen her do that?” I asked Nathaniel.
“Yes, but only when you and Nicky aren’t with me. She’s different without the two of you in the gym.”
“Okay, I sort of understand her having issues with showing me up, but why does she care about Nicky?”
“I think she doesn’t want anyone she considers a threat to see how good she is,” Jason said.
“Nicky hasn’t threatened her, has he?” I asked.
“No, he hasn’t hurt her; he’s just really big, really physical, and really good at fighting.”
“Well, crap,” I said.
“I wouldn’t let anyone tie me down and put me at her mercy; just call me cautious, but there’s a look in her eyes sometimes that I do not want aimed at me when I can’t fight back,” Jason said.
“You’re not a fighter,” I said.
“I’m not a bodyguard, but I’m a werewolf, and that means you have to fight to keep your place in the pack. All wereanimals can fight, Anita, but I also know I’m a small guy. That limits me.”
“Micah is smaller than you and he’s an alpha.”
“Yeah, but he’s way more ruthless than I am. He’s more like you. You’ll both just kill people if they threaten you or your people. I won’t go for the kill unless I have to; that makes me not a threat.”
J.J. looked from one to the other of us. “Are you serious about the killing part?”
Jason and I exchanged a look. I don’t know what we would have said, because Nathaniel said, “I think that look in Jade’s eyes is why I liked being tied up with her in the bed.”
That made us all look at him, which was probably what he’d planned. He was distracting J.J. from the fact that she could know most of our sex secrets, but the violence part . . . she was too much a civilian to know that part.
“You know that Jade is dangerous, so it gives you a kick to be tied up and at her mercy?” I asked.
He nodded. “Asher thinks she’s the perfect victim and would love to have her in the dungeon, but I think he’s wrong. I think that under the right circumstances, Jade would be incredibly dangerous.” He gave a little cuddling shiver, and I felt his body begin to react where it had been pressed inert against the back of my body. The thought of how dangerous she might be excited him. I loved Nathaniel more than almost anyone, but there were moments, like this, when I didn’t understand him. I liked the pretend of danger in bondage with people I trusted utterly; yes, I pushed the edge, but not like Nathaniel did. He liked real danger when he could get it, and thanks to being a wereleopard, he healed almost anything, emphasis on the “almost.”
“And you like that?” Jason said.
“You know I do,” Nathaniel said.
Jason shook his head. “Raina cured me of ever letting another wereanimal tie me down and have their way with me.”
I felt stupid and slow; I’d forgotten how Jason became a werewolf. Raina, the now-dead alpha female of the local pack, their lupa, had tied him up, had sex with him, and shifted to wolf-woman form on top of him, and he’d been fine with that, but then she’d used claws and teeth on him. I’d shared that memory thanks to Raina’s ghost, and I knew that she hadn’t cared if Jason lived or died. It had all been about her pleasure in that moment. She’d been a true sexual sadist, and where she had no conscience a pure sociopath, but like most sociopaths I knew, there were places where she cared; she just never seemed to give a damn for her lovers.
“Raina went farther than even I wanted to go,” Nathaniel said, and he held me closer. I remembered him telling me that she’d done what would have amounted to a snuff film if he’d been human. He’d agreed to what she did, but hadn’t understood that some fantasies are never, ever meant to be real—not if you want to live and stay sane.
“I’m sorry, Jason, I forgot how you became a werewolf. Will watching Nathaniel be tied up while Jade plays with him be like a triggering event for the memory?” I asked.