“Does she orgasm?” J.J. asked.
I fought free of a moment of embarrassment. “Eventually.”
Nathaniel said, “Luckily Jade is fast clitorally.”
“Jade let you watch?”
“Anita asked for some help with the oral, and hoped that I could give pointers through watching, and Jade agreed to it.”
“And what did you learn?” J.J. asked.
“That Jade is one of those women who won’t give feedback. I told Anita to ask, does this feel good, does that, but Jade won’t give directions.”
“Oh, God, I hate women like that,” J.J. said.
“It’s because her ex-master took all directions as criticism of his performance, and punished her for it,” I said.
J.J.’s eyes went wide. “Well, that would teach anyone to keep their opinion to themselves.”
“I understand where it comes from, why she doesn’t help me, but it’s like flying blind. I thought having the same parts would help, and it does a little. I can hear her breathing change, watch the little involuntary body movements, but I still think that if I could see someone else do it, and ask questions, maybe even trade off during so I could see actual demonstration, it would work much better.”
“You are going at this in a very practical manner, Anita. I think I’m impressed, except are you treating it as a chore, not a pleasure?”
I fought not to squirm. “I go down on her because I know how much I love it, and she just started letting Domino try oral on her. She hasn’t talked about it yet, but I suspect her old master didn’t enjoy giving oral sex, so he made it unpleasant for her, like he made a lot of things unpleasant for her.”
“Do you enjoy doing it?”
I sighed. “Not really; I don’t get the high off it that I get from going down on men. Hell, I can orgasm sometimes from giving oral sex.”
J.J. gave me wide eyes again. “Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
“Well, damn, I’ve heard that’s possible, but I’ve never met anyone who could do it.”
I fought not to be embarrassed again.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Anita; it’s great, amazing, no wonder you enjoy it so much.”
“I enjoyed it before I started orgasming from it,” I said, as if I wanted it clear it wasn’t just about me having a happy. I don’t know why, but somehow I felt defensive.
J.J. smiled as if she realized I was being defensive. “I feel the same way about going down on women, except I don’t have an orgasm from it; be awesome if I did.”
Jason laughed. “You’d never do anything else if you orgasmed from it.”
She laughed, then sobered. “Not if it was just Freda.”
I wondered if she knew she wasn’t in love with her live-in girlfriend anymore. Was I supposed to say something about it, or let it go? I wasn’t sure, so I let it go; one crisis at a time.
“Please tell me that I didn’t ruin everything between you and Freda,” Jason said, hugging her tighter.
“We had issues before you came back into my life, Jason. It’s more like the more I enjoy spending time with you, the more I see that she and I don’t have fun anymore.”
“Love isn’t always about fun,” Nathaniel said.
“No, but shouldn’t it be fun some of the time? I think I just hadn’t realized how much Freda wants to change me into someone that I’m not, until Jason came along and just accepted me for who I really am.”
“You accepted me, too,” he said.