"You've felt one of them," Stephen said. "It's the best explanation I can give you."
"It's energy," Teddy said. "Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It exists. We have the energy of everyone that has ever been pack."
"You don't mean all lukoi, do you?"
"No," he said, "but from the first member of our pack to now, we have them all."
"Not all," Lorraine said.
He nodded. "Sometimes one of us will be lost to accident and the body cannot be recovered and shared. Then all they were, all their knowledge, their power, is lost to us."
Kevin had gone back to the chair, still sitting on the floor, leaning his shoulders against the chair seat. "Sometimes," he said, "we decide not to feed. It's sort of like excommunication. The pack rejects you in death as in life."
"Why didn't you reject Raina? She was a twisted sadistic bitch."
"It was Richard's choice," Teddy said. "By rejecting her body that last time, he thought it would have angered some of the other pack members who aren't wholeheartedly on his side yet. He was right, but... now we have her inside us."
"She's powerful," Lorraine said, and she shivered. "Powerful enough to possess a lesser wolf."
"Old wives' tales," Kevin said. "She's dead. Her power survives but only when called."
"I didn't call her," I said.
"We might have," Stephen said softly. He lay back on the floor, hands covering his eyes as if it was too horrible to look at.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that we've never seen anyone but Raina do what you just did. I was thinking about her, remembering."
"So was I," Kevin said.
"Yes," Teddy said. He had moved back to the far wall, as if he didn't trust himself near me.
Lorraine had moved back with him, sitting so that their bodies touched lightly. A comforting closeness. "I, too, was thinking about her. Glad she was not here. Happy it was Anita." She hugged her arms as if cold, and Teddy put a muscular arm around her, hugging her close, resting his chin in her hair.
"I wasn't thinking about Raina," Nathaniel said. He crawled towards me.
"Don't touch me," I said.
He rolled onto his back, for all the world like a big pu**y cat wanting its belly rubbed. He stretched, straining from toes to finger tips. He laughed and rolled onto his stomach, propped on his elbows. He looked up at me, long, rich brown hair like a curtain across his face. His lilac eyes stared out at me, feral and almost frightening. He lay down in a pool of hair and energy. His gaze stayed on my face, and I realized he was being playful. Not exactly seductive, but playful. It was different and almost more disturbing. Nathaniel managed to be childlike, catlike, and still be an adult. You didn't know whether to pat him on the head, rub his belly, or kiss him. All three seemed to be up for grabs. It was too confusing for me.
I used the far bed to get to my feet. When I was sure I could walk without falling down, I let go of the bed. I swayed just a touch, but not too bad. I could walk. Great, because I wanted out of here.
"What do you want us to do?" Stephen asked.
"Go to my house. Jean-Claude's there, and Richard was there."
"What about him?" Kevin asked.
Nathaniel raised his head enough to look at us all. He said nothing, asked for nothing, but I could taste his pulse in my mouth. I knew he was scared. Scared to be left alone again. I hoped this empathy with me wasn't permanent. I had quite enough men running around in my head without adding another one.
"Take him with you," I said. "The leopards are mine as you are mine."
"He is to be protected and treated as pack?" Kevin asked.
I rubbed my temples. I was getting a headache. "Yes, yes. I've given him my protection. Any of the leopards that want my protection can have it."
"As our lupa that binds us to protect them," Lorraine said, "even to give our life for them. Will they do the same?"