His face was very serious. "Don't be coy, Anita. What you did last night was impressive, and you know it."
I hugged the blanket around my shoulders and looked at the ground. After the rush of power had faded last night, I'd been cold. I'd been cold all night. It was nearly ninety degrees outside. The air conditioner was whirring, and I was cold. Unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of cold that blankets or heat or even another warm body could chase away. I'd scared myself last night. Lately, that took a lot.
I'd seen the burning vampires in my dreams. They'd chased me with flame-covered arms. Their mouths opened in screams, fangs leaking fire like dragon's breath. The burning vamps had offered me Mira's head. The head had talked in its basket, asking, "Why?" Because I was careless didn't seem like a good enough answer. I ran from the dying vampires all night long, one dream after another, or maybe it was just one long, broken dream. Who knows? Either way, it hadn't been restful.
Richard had turned to me last night with the vampire bodies still glowing like banked fires. He'd looked at me, and I'd felt his revulsion, his horror at what I'd done, like a knife through my heart. If things had been reversed and I'd been the werewolf and he'd been the human, he'd have been just as sickened after the show with Marcus as I had been. No, more so. The only reason Richard hung around with monsters was the fact that he was one.
Richard had gone off to his cabin with Jamil and Shang-Da. Shang-Da and Jamil hadn't been horrified; they'd been impressed. Though Shang-Da had said, "They'll kill us all for this."
Asher had disagreed. "Colin is a lesser master than Jean-Claude, yet he demanded the life of Jean-Claude's second, me, and the sanity of one of his wolves, Jason. He overstepped his bounds. Anita merely reminded him of that."
Shang-Da had looked at the blackened corpses, slowly turning to piles of ash. "You think any master vampire will allow this to go unanswered?"
Asher shrugged. "It is no disgrace to lose against someone who has met the Council and survived."
"Besides," Jamil said, "he'll be scared now. He won't come against Anita face-to-face again."
Asher nodded. "Exactly; he fears her now."
"His human servant, Nikki, could have enabled the wards just like I did," I said.
"I believe," Asher said, "that if his servant had power so similar to your own, she would not have merely warned him."
"She'd have tried to keep me from setting the magic free," I said.
"Yes," Asher said.
"She lied," I said.
Asher smiled and touched my cheek. "How can you be so cynical and be surprised when people lie?"
To that, there was no answer. What I'd done was just beginning to sink in then. Now, in the light of midday, not morning -- we'd managed to sleep the morning away -- I was cold with the knowledge that what I'd done last night hadn't used power from either Richard or Jean-Claude. What I'd done last night had been all me. I'd have been able to do it without a single vampire mark or a drop of extra power.
I hated it when I did something so inhuman and couldn't blame anyone else for it. Made me feel like a freak.
Jason touched my shoulder. I looked at him. There must have been something in my face, because the grin faded from his. His eyes held that world-weary sorrow that peeked through every once in awhile.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head. "You saw what I did last night. I did it. Not Jean-Claude. Not Richard. Me. Just little old me."
He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to look at him full face. "You saved me last night, Anita. You put yourself between me and those things. I'll never forget that, ever."
I tried to look away, and he shook me gently until I looked at him. We were exactly the same height, so it wasn't like looking up at him, just at him. All the teasing was gone. What was left behind was something more serious, more grownup, less Jason. "You killed to save us last night. None of us will forget that. Verne and his wolves won't forget that."
"Colin won't forget it, either," I said. "He'll come after us."
Jason shook his head. "Asher and Jamil are right. He's scared shitless of you now. He won't come near you."
I grabbed his arms, letting the quilt slide to the floor. "But he'll hurt the rest of you. He'll try and take you, Jason. He'll give you to Barnaby. He'll break you just to hurt me."
"Or he'll kill Asher," Jason said. "I know." He smiled, and it was almost his usual grin. "Why do you think we both stayed in here with you last night? I, for one, wanted your protection."
"You know you have it," I said.
The smile softened. "I know." He touched my face gently. "What's wrong? I mean really wrong? Why do you look so ... tormented today?"
"What I did last night wasn't very human, Jason. I felt Richard's horror. I felt him think of me as a monster, and he's right."