software sales internship, and it was a long haul down to the city, especially with rush-hour traffic. He seemed tired, but the coffee was bringing him around.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“Well, I mean, you’ve already tried shotgunning…” He grinned. “What else are you gonna try? Bungee jumping? Cow tipping?”
“Jewelry heists, maybe.”
“Good one.”
“I don’t know, who says I need to try more stuff?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m starting to figure you out, Codi Teller, and I know you want more out of this summer than just working at Purses-n-Pigs.”
“Totes-n-Goats,” I laughed.
He raised his eyebrows, waiting for my answer. “I’m asking because you seem kind of down today. Restless, almost. What’s going on?”
I sighed and scooted my chair closer to his, making sure we wouldn’t be overheard. “Maritza tried to hit on this girl in the park yesterday, but she got shot down,” I told him in a low voice. “And Maritza’s pretty. Like, a lot prettier than me.”
Ricky looked confused, so I elaborated.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever meet a girl,” I told him. “The odds are impossible.”
“Says who?”
I stared him down. “Come on, don’t patronize me.”
“I’m not. Why can’t you meet a girl?”
I scoffed. “First of all, how many girls like other girls? Not many, at least compared to the number of girls who like boys. And then how am I supposed to find those girls? I mean, sometimes it’s obvious, but sometimes it’s not! Like that girl in the park yesterday—I told Maritza she seemed straight, and it turned out she was, but that can’t always be the case, right? Like, if I didn’t know Maritza, I would have no idea she was into girls. She’s been my best friend since sixth grade, but I didn’t pick up on it until she flat-out told me. It was obvious with JaKory, but I literally had no idea with her. And then, even if I find a girl who likes girls, what are the odds she’s gonna like me? What if I’m not her type? What if I’m too boring, or quiet, or—”
“Or kind? Or interesting? Or earnest? Come on, Codi, you’re being too hard on yourself. And why are you worried about being her type? What if she’s not your type?”
I met his eyes. “How did you meet Tucker?”
He glanced away, shaking his head. “That’s different. It’s not a real thing.”
“But you’ve still kissed him.”
He looked wildly around, making sure no one had overheard us. “I’m telling you, it’s not a thing,” he said in a low, hard voice. “I only know him through my friend Samuel because they were on the baseball team together. He and Samuel got to be really tight this year, so we’d hang out with him at parties. That’s it.”
“Wait. So you’ve only hung out with him at parties?”
Ricky wasn’t looking at me. “Pretty much.”
“How did you end up kissing him?”
“What’s with the inquisition, Codi?”
He asked it with an edge to his voice, and I shrunk back in my seat.
“Sorry,” I said quietly. “I was just wondering.”
That defensive look stayed in his eyes for a minute, but then it faded and he shook his head rapidly. “No, that’s okay. I’m just not used to…”
He trailed off, and there was a swell of pressure between us.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t think you should base anything off my random hookups with Tucker. We barely know each other. The most he ever talked to me was this one day at Sonic, when Samuel went off to call his girlfriend. We sat there by ourselves for a few minutes, and he told me he felt like he didn’t fit in on the baseball team, and I was blown away by that. Tucker’s the best baseball player our school has, you know? It took me forever to realize what he was talking about. But I didn’t even have his phone number until the other day, and it’s only because he texted me to make sure you hadn’t told anyone what you saw.”
It was jarring for me to hear that; I hadn’t even considered that Tucker would worry about it afterward. “Is that all he said?”
“Yep,” Ricky said bitterly. He fidgeted, tapping the lid on his coffee.
“Well…” I said, trying to fill the silence between us. “You’re right about me wanting something out of this summer.”
He chanced a look at me. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I mean…” I trailed off, shaking my head. It was embarrassing to admit this to him, but I pushed myself to do it anyway.